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This article helps you to see the connection between self esteem, confidence and achieving your goals in life. I hope you benefit from it.
If you want to improve your self esteem then working actively to achieve the things that matter to you most is extremely important. Goals also keep you motivated and give you something to aim for. As you take steps towards completing your goals this will increase your self esteem and confidence.
What is visualisation and how can it help you? Simply put, visualisation is a tool that you can use to help yourself succeed. The idea is that if you can see yourself rising to a challenge, whatever that may be, and enjoying the achievement of your chosen goal then this creates the probability that you will succeed. How?
Imagine a movie and you are the star of that movie. Create the scenes in your head and see yourself being successful and achieving your goal. For example, if your goal was to find a loving partner you could imagine being on a balcony overlooking the sea holding a drink in one hand and your arm around your future partner. Imagine laughing and being relaxed and happy. How does it feel? What are the details? You create the movie with all its sounds and feelings and visuals – the more real the better. This will create the right attitude and mindset that will help you succeed. it is one positive tool and also a piece of magic if you use it often and re-run that movie every day.
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Visualisation is not magic though. You need to do it right so take a look here for more about how to use the right kind of visualisation to achieve what you want.
Advice on Creating Goals
- The first and most important thing to figure out is the obvious: What are your goals? What are the most important challenges for you right now and go through them to create goals which are top priorities for you.So how do you go about creating goals? Make sure that the goals you choose are ones you know will challenge you. Easy goals are quite boring. On the other hand you don’t want goals which are overwhelming, they should be realistic. We’ll talk a little bit more about that in a minute…
- One way to focus on the kind of goals that inspire you is to ask yourself this question: “Who and what do you want to become?” This is a great question for both career-based goals and also appropriate for other more personal goals. For example, if you want to become a teacher what do you need to do? Then set goals that will take you there. An example of a personal goal might be to get fitter and lose some weight. Set goals that will take you in that direction.
- It is absolutely vital that you make sure that the goals you choose are truly what YOU want and not what others want or what you think you should do. Your goals need to be inspiring and exciting ones that come from your heart and inner desire. Don’t just make goals for the sake of it. Make them to become what and who you want to be.
- As we briefly said above goals should be realistic. There is no problem with thinking big because limited goals are boring and unchallenging. On the other hand, goals which are too big may overwhelm you and seem impossible to achieve. Don’t drop these big ideas, instead break them down into more manageable goals or steps towards your big goal.
- Make your goals flexible so that if something changes, either positive or negative, you have a plan B you can use which might be more successful.
- Create goals that are short-term, medium term and long term goals. Your short term goals may be steps towards achieving your overall goals which are your long term or medium term ones.
Read more about how you can create goals that will inspire you – Goals!: How to Get Everything you Want – Faster than you ever Thought Possible
Some Inspiring Quotes
“What you get by achieving your goals is not as important as what you become by achieving your goals.”
“Set your goals high enough to inspire you and low enough to encourage you.”
How to Be Successful and Achieve What You want
Let’s consider some of the most important things you need to be able to confidently achieve all the goals you set yourself. I am assuming that you have first taken the necessary step of taking time to get clear about what you want (that is often the most difficult part – Check out this book for help ).
- You must have self-belief. If you doubt yourself then you cannot hope to achieve everything you want. When you think negatively you hold yourself back. Self-confidence is such a big part of any successful person and will always be one of your strongest weapons. There are many ways you can develop more self confidence
- Self-discipline enables you to keep on track and ensure that you keep moving towards your goals. Your emotions and reactions to events and setbacks are very important and with self-discipline you can control yourself and keep yourself on track.
- You need to plan as well as you can but allow your goals to be flexible. As things progress you may need to change things and even revert to plan B. Your plans should never trap you and you must always be ready to modify your goals if necessary.
- One of the most important things which will help you achieve what you set yourself is your attitude. It must be positive at all times. Negativity never helps, ever. Here is some important advice on improving your attitude.
- You need focus and commitment. Write your goals down and commit to them. Look at them often and give your all to achieving them. Commitment means you have to persist and not give up no matter how difficult things become. Are you prepared to do that to achieve your goals?
- You must be prepared to take sensible risks. There is always risk involved with anything worthwhile. I is your job to decide how much risk you’ll take and if it is worth taking a bigger risk to achieve your goals. If you have planned you may judge that even if your risk taking fails there are alternatives.
- You must be ready to learn from your mistakes. It is better to make mistakes and try again rather than not try in the first place. Always remember that if you can see challenges as an opportunity to learn even if you make a mistake then you will not fear failure. Success usually comes after several attempts which may not work, these are not failures but necessary steps that bring you closer to knowing what will work.
- The goals that you choose must be valuable goals. What do I mean by this? Well the goals that will motivate you most are the ones that are related closely to what you really want. They must also be goals that will improve your life (in your opinion). Often, for example, setting goals that are just financial are not motivating because it is not really money that excites you but perhaps what it can do for you. This is why it is so important, as we said before, to know what you want in life and then formulate a plan and suitable steps to get that.Another thing that makes a goal valuable is that it doesn’t hurt others. If you want something then please go for it but not at the cost of hurting others. The best goals are those that also build your self esteem and help you to make a bigger contribution to the world. Take your values into account when creating goals. If you do then you will be honest to yourself and be much more likely to achieve what you set out to do.
- You need to relax. Being stressed or feeling under pressure is very negative and if you push yourself hard to change things you are actually pushing your aims away. If you relax a little and calm down your thinking becomes clearer and your actions more natural. You return to being who you really are. This is a much better way to live and you are more likely to be successful. So learn to relax a little and take the pressure off yourself.
- My final tip to help you achieve what you set yourself as quickly as possible is to reward yourself for the small gains you make. Even the smallest steps move you closer to the person you want to be and you should acknowledge that to yourself and celebrate your progress, no matter how small it is still progress.
Start reaching your goals – download “Reach Your Goals” – a terrific self hypnosis program. I recommend this to you!
One of the biggest obstacles that can stop you from achieving your goals is fear. This emotion feeds any negative thoughts you have such as self doubts. Fear can cause you to give up before you have even started or it can cause you to give in to the slightest setback. Let’s face it, there are very few times in life when things go one hundred percent smoothly. You need courage to keep going when things get difficult.
Fear will also make it more likely that you will listen to those who tell you negative things. Maybe others will say “That is too difficult” or “you can’t do that”. Just remember that all the most successful people have gone through this and refused to listen to the negativity of others. To overcome your fear you need to challenge it. Question it. Face it and beat it. Prove it wrong. I have found that it is very rare that things turn out as bad as I first imagined them. So many times when I faced something new and scary I imagined all kinds of problems, but the reality was completely different when I actually did what I feared.
One of the greatest fears is failure. Don’t start and you can’t fail. But you can’t succeed either. Rather than imagine what failure would feel like focus on how success would feel. What if you could….? How would life be different if you succeeded?
Fear often means that you worry about what others will say or think. Why give the power to others? You are actually letting others decide what you should do. Work on your self esteem and confidence and learn to prioritize what you think so that you choose what to do. If you worry about what others think of you, then you are holding yourself back. Does it really matter what others think about you? Stop focusing on what others think
The goals you create should belong to YOU and only you. They are what you want. Be honest to who you are and the values you hold. Then go for them! Don’t let fear stop you. Really fear and failure are ideas in your head and do not really exist until you give them the power to exist. Your imagination creates it and feeds it. Start focusing on success and the positive possibilities and you will kill the fear inside you.
Don’t be afraid of failure anymore – take action now – download this self hypnosis program and beat your fears now!
Website Author and Editor Bio
Karl Perera is a fully qualified Life Coach (DipLC), Teacher (MA) and author of Self Esteem Secrets. He has taught at various universities including Durham, Leicester and Anglia Ruskin, Cambridge. He has run More-SelfEsteem.com since 1997 and is an expert in Self Esteem and Self Confidence.