Written by Karl Perera, MA, DipLC
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by Karl Perera
In this short article I would like to show you how worrying less will boost your self esteem.
What does worrying do to you?
- Worrying is not only bad for your health but did you know that it is also bad for your self esteem?
- Worrying lowers your self esteem because it amplifies and feeds your negative thoughts
- It is a never ending cycle which drags you down
- It makes you tired and prone to stress and depression
- It can prevent you from taking up new challenges
- It lowers your self confidence
- It increases your insecurity
What does worrying achieve?
Does it help you succeed? No, it makes success harder and failure more likely.
Because worrying increases stress it makes your life unpleasant and denies you the enjoyment of new challenges. When you face a problem, (as we all do from time to time), you will not solve it by worrying – you may even make it impossible for yourself to see a solution.
When faced with high stress situations you need to relax as best you can in order to cope with increased adrenalin levels. Worrying prevents you from relaxing and tenses you up. You may even panic…
With worry comes a negative expectation of what will happen. If, for example you have to give a speech, worry will increase your stress and encourage you to feel very self conscious to the point where you feel everybody is staring at you and expecting you to mess it up. Guess what, you probably will!.. This is commonly known as self sabotage.
The worst effect on your self esteem comes from worrying what others think. This creates two problems:
– You give power to others because you act according to other people’s rules.
– You imagine what others are thinking about you and focus on that rather than on your own feelings and preferences.
Both of the above problems mean that inside you will suffer low self esteem because you will know that you are living for others and denying yourself freedom to live as you wish. If you have high self esteem and self confidence you will not worry about what others think, nor will you worry about what can go wrong when you try something new…
– Learn how to stop worrying about what may go wrong and boost your self confidence and your level of self esteem… a win-win!
So what can you do to worry less?…
How to worry less
- Imagine what could go right before a challenging event. See it and hear it in your mind.
- Read this page – how to stop being a perfectionist
- Make a list of all the benefits of succeeding in your challenge and decide to give it your best
- Over-prepare before the event or challenge in order to feel more confident about your chance of success
- Read this page about how to manage your anxiety triggers
- Focus on things going well which will remove your fear of new situations. Positive thinking works!
- Tell friends what you will do and how you will do it. This will help you to get positive and also make it harder to avoid what challenges await you
What others think:
- Ask yourself if you want to live according to what others think or should you trust your own feelings and wishes
- Decide to build your confidence.
- How do you know for sure what others are thinking? Question your assumptions and see whether you could be completely wrong
- Learn to trust yourself more
- Before you imagine what other people may think, ask yourself what you think and tell yourself that if you want to do something and it feels right, then go for it!
- Tell yourself always that you are unique and have the right to do what you think is right, it’s your life after all
Download this hypnosis program: Stop worrying – a must have!
Website Author and Your Guide
Karl Perera is a fully qualified Life Coach (DipLC), Teacher (MA), and author of the book Self Esteem Secrets. He has taught at various universities including Durham, Leicester and Anglia Ruskin, Cambridge. He has run More-SelfEsteem.com since 1997 since suffering from low self esteem for more than 25 years overcoming it in his thirties.