Stop comparing yourself

Written by Karl Perera BA, MA, DipLC
Updated: September 3rd, 2020

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One major problem in our society is the focus on competitiveness which can often lead to the tendency to compare yourself with others. Many of us seem to do this automatically without giving it a thought. Let’s talk about what effect this has on your self esteem.

Why comparing yourself to others is a bad idea

  • Comparing yourself to others is really not a good idea. We all do it from time to time. So many people get into the habit of looking at others and comparing them with ourselves, in terms of what we have and what we don’t have, and how happy we are with our lives. We use all sorts of misguided standards to compare ourselves with others who we imagine are much more successful than us or in our personal lives. One problem of comparing yourself to others is that you can always find someone who is more beautiful, someone who is slimmer, someone who dresses more fashionably or someone who talks more confidently. When you’re always comparing yourself to other people what you’re real saying is “I want to be more like them” when what you should be doing is valuing more who and what you are. If you’re always looking at other people that means you’re always trying to be like them.In a recent article I wrote we discussed self acceptance. One of the most important things that you need to do if you want to improve your level of self-esteem is increase your self acceptance. If you can accept yourself more for what you really are then you can live in a way that is much more honest and as a result you’ll soon feel better inside. Your level of self-esteem will increase as you stop trying to copy others.The benefit of not comparing yourself to othersLet’s talk a little now about the benefits of not comparing yourself to others…These benefits include:
  • being more relaxed with who you are
  • less self-consciousness
  • less stress
  • you’ll be able to focus on what you have to do rather than constantly paying attention to others
  • more self confidence
  • increased self-esteem as you stop comparing yourself and realise you are unique

How to stop comparing yourself to others

Here are just a few ways that you can stop comparing yourself to others:

  • Try to focus more on what is important to you rather then ask yourself what others think
    focus on what you are doing
  • accept you are different from everybody else and take that as a huge positive
  • get to know yourself better and accept who you are
  • tell yourself that you can do just as well as anybody else – it doesn’t matter how you look, what you think or what you have done before – what matters is the end result and the fact that you believe in yourselfIf you are always comparing yourself to others chances are that you feel bad about yourself and your confidence level is very low. This will affect your self esteem very badly.
  • Watch this free special 3 part video series about self esteemsign up to get instant access to the videos. Filled with some great ideas and advice, you’ll benefit enormously by watching these.You will enjoy self hypnosis, learn easily and quickly where you want and when you want, you won’t have to spend a long time reading and you will find this program effortless as you use the power of your mind, so what are you waiting for?Try this amazing self hypnosis download – Stop comparing yourself now!


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Website Author and Editor Bio

Photo of Karl Perera, MA, DipLC Karl Perera is a fully qualified Life Coach (DipLC), Teacher (MA) and author of Self Esteem Secrets. He has taught at various universities including Durham, Leicester and Anglia Ruskin, Cambridge. He has run since 1997 and is an expert in Self Esteem and Self Confidence.

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