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Problem with Self Consciousness?

Written by Karl Perera BA, MA, DipLC
Updated: January 21st, 2020

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Self consciousness can be a major factor and a cause of low self confidence. Firstly, lets define what self consciousness is and then go on to describe how it affects your performance in social situations. Next, we will look at what you can do to help yourself improve how you feel in social gatherings. The result I hope will be – better self confidence!

Do you know what self consciousness is?

Here’s an example. When you are in a social situation and someone puts you on the spot, you feel awkward and you focus on yourself, and on your reaction. You start to notice how nervous you feel. This is self consciousness – over-focusing on yourself. You panic, look worried and nervous and your confidence drops. You feel embarrassed and then more self conscious and it gets worse.

Another example, you are asked suddenly to speak in front of a large group of people. Suddenly you feel eyes on you and you are aware of the rush of adrenaline, and then you begin to sweat or shake. You cannot think because you are focused on your own physical reaction. At that moment  you are focused on yourself and you become even more nervous. This is self consciousness and it prevents you from being confident and prevents you from focusing on the task.

How does self consciousness affect your confidence?

It destroys confidence because it increases your anxiety! When you are in a stressful social situation you need to relax to be confident. Your body language tells others you are not confident, which will affect how they act towards you. This will make you feel even more uncomfortable. When you are relaxed you look and feel confident. You are in control and your mind is free to think about the challenge you face. Perhaps you are talking to an important person or a member of the opposite sex who you find attractive. All you want is to be yourself and act confidently. Self consciousness makes you nervous and stops you being natural, in short it affects you negatively.


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Public speakers know that self consciousness is an enemy and they learn to overcome it. Everyone gets nervous about public speaking but beating self consciousness is one step to being a confident and successful public speaker.

In social situations, especially those you find most difficult, you need to take the focus away from yourself and what your body is doing to what you want to do. You need to speak well and present yourself positively. In cases of extreme self consciousness you may focus on a physical feature and imagine, that your nose is too long or some such thing. You may feel ugly or awkward, but if you suffer from this then you may benefit from advice how to feel attractive.

How can you concentrate on your answers to questions, or your response, if you are occupied with  negative thoughts which make you more self conscious and stressed? How can you be at your best when inside you are panicking and confused?

What can you do to stop being self conscious?

It’s easy to talk about what you need to do to help yourself. However, when you are in that stressful situation your body reacts in a split second and your mind and fears take over as you forget everything you planned to do.  You have to face your fears and overcome them. The key is learning how best to prepare yourself for the event and how to relax.

As you prepare, you should remember that it is okay to be nervous or afraid. Many people feel the same way. The important thing is acknowledging your fears and emotions are there, but that they do not have power unless you give it to them. By accepting this and focusing on methods to cope,  you take the biggest step in overcoming your fears and self consciousness.

If you calm yourself and relax you’ll feel in control, this will boost your confidence. If you begin to feel self conscious, try to focus on something else. Notice how the other person is talking. Or find something in the room to divert your attention for a second then try to relax.

An excellent way to prepare yourself for these tough social challenges is to prepare yourself mentally by practicing events in your head in a relaxed state. Your mind and body will then behave in a more positive way when you face the actual situation. Self hypnosis is the best way to learn how to train your mind to act differently. This can really help you!

Get Help Now

Help with self consciousness and self esteem

Finally, the best advice I can give you is to download the “Stop being self conscious” hypnosis program now  and start living your life!

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Website Author and Editor Bio

Photo of Karl Perera, MA, DipLC Karl Perera is a fully qualified Life Coach (DipLC), Teacher (MA) and author of Self Esteem Secrets. He has taught at various universities including Durham, Leicester and Anglia Ruskin, Cambridge. He has run since 1997 and is an expert in Self Esteem and Self Confidence.

19 thoughts on “Problem with Self Consciousness?”

  1. Anonymous

    Whats the name of the person who wrote this?

  2. Custom Essay Wriitng

    Self-consciousness is at the crossroads of two, ascent, oblivious driving forces, creating an inborn mental self portrait; one relative, outward assessments, from instruction readings and social relations. A sound personality needs to keep a constructive picture of himself. It sets up a line of defense. Know about what is valuable to him.

  3. Great article. Simple, short and full of insight.

    Thank you!

  4. karl perera

    I wrote this Kamil. I am going to check the article now and possibly make changes. Thanks for your comments and wise words and advice.

  5. Consciousness is the powerful source of self confidence.. I would say, the only one source when you face a difficult situation… You can observe yourself being nervous, but you can also allow it to be and not worry about being nervous, observe you are not really it, and step aside to feel peace that is around even in this stressful situation. And You can see unnecessary thinking machinery that wants you to believe “i am nervous, I cannot do this”. Conscious observation, acceptance can stop all this negativity. Then You can very calmly, face for example public speaking with all your awareness.

  6. but it is not self concious that makes u fell nervous. It’s all so messed up in this article, who writes this 🙂

  7. Hey, you should go to counseling! I think it would help so much. I went previously for social anxiety and it helped so much and now I’m going back again for self confidence issues. People think you have to be considered crazy or diagnosed with a mental disorder to go to counseling, but it’s something everyone can benefit from! Good luck to you, and, most importantly, be gentle with yourself (:

  8. Charlie Machoka

    Hey Abigail I have the same story as yours, I was this brilliant kid everyone looked up to but somwhere around 14 everything started to change mostly after my dad mistreated us. I became more self conscious that people will notice it and self confidence was greatly affected, though people think am confident I really struggle to give away that image because it doesn’t come naturally.It affected my grades back in high school and I always feel inferior but I really struggle to give a positive image and that what bothers me.

  9. During this age every one become self concious so that we can become better.

  10. Hello,
    I used to be a very confident young girl who reads every thing in class and can stand in front of the class and do anything. However, better to puberty changed everything. I couldn’t concentrate in class anymore and I couldn’t even read out loud in class. My self consciousness has increased my anxiety and worsened my stutter. I am doing very well with my academics (especially in situations where I do not have to speak) but my social life is drifting apart and I can’t take major positions because I fear that when I stand to speak in Public, I might stutter, or even freeze and not be able to say anything at all.
    I therefore dread social situations even in a group of five because it stresses me out, and I can even stutter on my name.
    I really need to get over this self consciousness and have my life back and be who I really want to be.

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