Self Confidence Tips

Written by Karl Perera BA, MA, DipLC
Updated: May 21st, 2020

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healthy woman jumping with self confidence Do you have a hard time with your confidence? Is your social life and career affected by a lack of confidence? If so, here are a few self confidence tips that will help you get back on your feet in no time.

self confidence tips: have the courage to ask

  • Look for a model (someone who has self confidence) and learn from them. What is it they do that makes them confident, how do they act? Often, if you act confidently you will feel more self assured (according to an article in Health Psychology ). Sometimes a smile is all you need, but there are other steps you can take to feel more relaxed in any situation.
  • Focus on your achievements rather than on your failures. If you do find yourself thinking about how you failed, look at what you did right and how you could improve next time. This change will make you more positive and will boost your self confidence. One area which is a problem for people is dealing with others. If this is an issue, try these tips for improving your confidence in relationships.
  • Learn how to feel good about yourself because there are always things to feel good about!
  • Act as if you were self confident! You will feel more confident and learn to be more assertive. Just fake it until you make it!
  • Focus on who you are, and what you like about yourself. Why do your friends like you?
  • Prepare thoroughly for any task so that you can be sure you are ready. Knowing that you have prepared well will help you to cope with the worst, making you feel more confident.
  • Work on any skills you need, you can never be over trained or over skilled for any challenge in life.
  • Work on your relaxation skills. When you come to challenging moments, relaxing will enable you to control your negative emotions and project positivity. Breathing is one aspect of this that is so important because controlling your breathing controls your body’s reactions to what’s going on around you.
  • Always smile and stand up straight. Your posture and smile will project confidence and you will feel better able to cope with anything. You will also find that others respond to you better and this will give you an added boost. This is especially important with public speaking.
  • Set reachable goals for yourself and break difficult tasks into smaller steps. This will help you to believe that you can achieve your larger goals if you can see the clear steps towards it and know that you can be successful by taking these smaller steps. Never underestimate how important your self esteem and self worth is.
  • Reward yourself when you succeed no matter how small the achievement. Remind yourself that you are moving forward with determination and that you are one step closer to achieving your goal. Give yourself credit.
  • Finally, I advise you not to be too competitive or compare yourself with others. Be yourself and accept that life is not a race against others. Your self confidence depends on you and your personal needs. Set your own standards and allow yourself to overcome challenges at your own pace.

Go grab this Audio CD – “A More Confident You“, which includes 60 minutes of my top tips and advice!

What other self confidence tips can I offer you?

There are so many sources of self help!

Use any tools available to you to improve your performance. These include books, courses, seminars, videos and information available on the internet. Try using a journal to plot your successes as they occur. And when things don’t go as you planned, note down what you think went wrong and how you can improve next time. It is so important that you write these down and begin to focus on improvement and achievement no matter how small. You can learn to become confident, I promise – so start today!

What Is Your Biggest Obstacle to More Self Confidence?

Your thinking. Negative thinking to be exact. If you always think negatively, you will be more easily put off by what happens to you or by what others tell you.

One of my biggest self confidence tips is to read inspirational quotes that help you to believe in yourself. There are plenty of wonderful examples of suitable quotes online and off. Repeating these quotes out load can turn them into affirmations which help you to change your beliefs and way of thinking. Putting quotes in a place where you can read them can also be helpful and this is why you often see motivational posters in companies everywhere. Words are inspiring.

3 Reasons You May Not Be Feeling Confident Recently

One of the best qualities a person can have is self-confidence. Lacking in this area doesn’t just contribute to lower satisfaction in life, but it can affect everything from your relationships with others to the way that you go about your day to day activities.  

The amount of self-confidence that you have is affected by a variety of factors from your childhood circumstances, to your body’s chemistry. All sorts of things can come into play when it comes to determining how highly you think of yourself. You may feel confident one day and terrible about yourself the next.

Don’t despair, however, more self confidence tips are coming on this page. Once you identify the reason that you’re lacking self-confidence, you can usually turn things around. The first step is recognizing what the cause is. Here are some of the reasons why you may have been feeling less than confident recently. 

Lack of Self-Care

In some cases, other people may be the cause of how badly we feel about ourselves. Bullies or critical family members can make us feel poorly. However, in some cases, your self-loathing may stem from your own doing.

It’s vital that you give yourself the same love that you would expect someone else to give you. Do what it takes to increase the way that you feel about yourself. Get a spa treatment . Eat healthful foods. Watch a funny movie. Read a good book! Self-care can vary from person to person, depending on your personal tastes.

Social Media

Social media was created to make us feel more connected with the world around us. However, in many cases, it can do the opposite. Too much exposure to social media can leave us feeling self-critical and seeking unrealistic perfection.

Social media encourages unrealistic standards based on smoke and mirrors. Editing applications and filters can leave us believing that we’ll never be as good as the pages we scroll past. It’s a good idea to limit your exposure to social media accounts that make you feel unworthy.

Gender or Race

In man cases, people are discriminated against because of their gender or race. They may feel like they’re treated differently than their peers. Worrying about how you’re perceived by others can make a massive difference in your performance in life. 

Believing that you’re any less than anyone else because of forces, you can’t control is setting yourself up for failure. If people discriminate against you , it’s critical that you find the tools to avoid internalizing the idea that you’re less worthy than others. Find a group of people that you feel like you belong with. Act confidently even when you may be faking it, and eventually, you’ll start to believe it!

Do You Have a Problem with Self Consciousness and Shyness?

This problem can stop you dead in your tracks and cause you to panic. Self consciousness will prevent you from being confident and may cause you to become shy. I suggest you read more about overcoming the problem of shyness here.

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Learn how to develop your self confidence by following the tips from this site and Build your Self Confidence by Uncommon Knowledge. They are quick, easy and guaranteed to help you build your confidence. These courses were prepared by experienced psychologists, and having tried them myself, I give them my full recommendation! You will notice the small differences as they happen. So, persevere and don’t expect everything at once.

Beating low self esteem is a wonderful thing, and it’s much easier than you’d imagine. The life you’ve been dreaming of is within your reach…

Further Reading

Positivity Blog – Top 24 Tips for Making your Confidence Soar – Boost your Self-Confidence


Nair, Sagar, Sollers, Consedine, Broadbent. 2015. “Do slumped and upright postures affect stress responses? A randomized trial.” Health Psychology Journal. 34(6):632-41. doi: 10.1037/hea0000146

Website Author and Editor Bio

Photo of Karl Perera, MA, DipLC Karl Perera is a fully qualified Life Coach, Teacher and author of Self Esteem Secrets. His qualifications include Masters and DipLC. He has taught at various universities including Durham, Leicester and Anglia Ruskin, Cambridge. He has run since 1997 and is an expert in Self Esteem and Self Development.

3 thoughts on “Self Confidence Tips”

  1. Stefan Bradley

    I’m glad that you mentioned how reading inspirational quotes can help change the way that you think about yourself. My uncle has been dealing with some self-esteem issues ever since his wife divorced him, I want to help him improve his mental state. I think it would be a good idea for him to find a self-help website that can boost his confidence.

  2. Daphne Gilpin

    Thanks for explaining that negative thinking is a big barrier to self confidence because it causes us to be more easily put-off by what happens to us. I recently heard about Christine Mendoza’s ideas, and I’m really interested in learning more about how to be confident as a woman. I’m glad I read your article because I think actively combating negative thinking will be really helpful as I start my journey to confidence.

  3. Thanks for these amazing tips. I’m having a tricky day, but I’ll pick a few of your tips and keep on trucking!! Thank you.

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