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You are your worst critic. It is a common habit for individuals to hold themselves to the highest standards and then beat themselves up when those expectations aren’t met. It is normal to be harder on yourself than others. But, much negative thinking about yourself can lead to an array of consequences. When you reach a level where you truly hate who you are, something must be done about this self loathing. If your feelings about yourself aren’t resolved, it can destroy your life relationships, career, and well-being.
The first step to stopping self-loathing or self-hate would be to be aware of the signs that you just don’t love yourself or believe in who you are anymore.
Poor Eating Habits
Lots of people who hate themselves will often use food as a form of punishment. Some, choose to eat too much while others don’t eat enough. Overeating becomes a pattern and reason for hating yourself. Essentially by eating more food, you feel shame later and as a result, have lived up to the negative opinion you have of yourself. Those who under eat often feel as if they don’t deserve nourishment and deprive themselves of foods they both love and need.
Drug or Alcohol Addiction
Vices like drugs and alcohol are common for those who want to mask emotions. It may start with a glass of wine or a joint per day, but this vicious cycle of numbness and shame often lead to dependency and addiction to harsher drugs and higher potencies of alcohol. Eventually, you’re using heroin or drinking pints of liquor only to come down off your high or wake up with a hangover which leaves you feeling ashamed.
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To stop feeling ashamed, essentially you abuse drugs and alcohol more. This post on how long does it take to detox from heroin , states it can take weeks for the drug to be removed from your system and most don’t recover as the withdrawal symptoms are too much to bear. Theoretically, without help, those who have self-hate, develop a fatal relationship with drugs and alcohol.
Do you find yourself talking defeat before you even start the day? This is a common practice for those who self-loath. They psyche themselves out to believe that they can’t accomplish anything, and essentially it is what manifests in real life. This again creates a negative cycle in that your failures start to stand as confirmations that you’re a negative or bad person.
Demise of Relationships
Many people who hate themselves believe that they don’t deserve anything positive. This includes love and kindness. They sabotage their own relationships as a means of preventing people from getting too close to them. Those who self-loath have been known to neglect their partners, be physically or verbally abusive, and even become unfaithful. These reckless behaviors essentially ruin the relationship which then justifies their hateful thoughts that they don’t deserve happiness.
If you can relate to any of the above-mentioned scenarios, it is a very real possibility that you’re self-loathing. Hating yourself stems from something you’ve failed at or something that you dislike about yourself. It drudges up negative feelings and emotions about who you are and your ability to be successful. If this is you, the best thing you can do is start rebuilding your confidence and self-esteem, remove all expectations, and essentially start accomplishing things that make you proud of who you are. IF you’re dealing with addiction, seek professional help for your road back to recovery.
Website Author and Editor Bio
Karl Perera is a fully qualified Life Coach (DipLC), Teacher (MA) and author of Self Esteem Secrets. He has taught at various universities including Durham, Leicester and Anglia Ruskin, Cambridge. He has run More-SelfEsteem.com since 1997 and is an expert in Self Esteem and Self Confidence.