Written by Karl Perera, MA, DipLC
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In this short article I would like to show you why you should not feel guilty about putting yourself first..
Is putting yourself first selfish?
Many people will tell you that putting yourself first is selfish. You may even believe this to be true. I am not saying ignore others and think only of yourself because that is selfish…
What I am saying is that you need to give your own desires and goals priority sometimes or you will not be able to move forward as a person. Think of it like this – to contribute to the world and be helpful to others you first need to be the best you can be. If you are unhappy and running around trying to make others happy, never taking the time to focus on your own responsibilities, goals and aspirations, you will suffer… You have to remember that it’s OK to take some time out for yourself every now and then. Give yourself a break and focus on your own needs. What is your body and your mind telling you? Sometimes we just need to block out the outer world for a bit and listen to our inner selves.
In cases where people feel abandoned by their family members, then strength is important to overcome this and to have faith in yourself.
When you live a full creative life with joy and satisfaction, you can grow and develop, and therefore will be able to help others to do the same. There is nothing selfish about trying to be the best version of yourself, to treat yourself with kindness and compassion the way you treat others, or to try and give your best contribution to the world and those you come into daily contact with. Deal with your responsibilities but also make time for yourself and don’t let others take over or dictate your life.
Another very important way of taking care of yourself first is to put your own feelings much higher in your list of priorities. One way to do this is to learn how to cope with criticism from others. If you don’t cope well with the words and negative comments of others, then you will get lost in your worry, stress and negative thoughts.
What are the benefits of putting yourself first?
- You will be better able to help others – because you will be at your best, both mentally and physically
- Others will take you more seriously
- You will feel less stressed
- You will have more control
- Your self esteem will improve
- If others do criticise you, you will not respond with the belief that everyone hates you.
How to put yourself first?
It is very easy to let others tell you what to do, especially if you are suffering from low self esteem. If you’re not careful you can become overwhelmed by demands that others place on you, and can find yourself on slippery slope as your responsibilities towards others increase. If you’re constantly trying to please others and take on burden after burden, this can in turn result in a cycle that leads to even lower self esteem. A balance is necessary between work commitments, family responsibilities, relationships and your personal time.
So, how can you get that balance and put yourself first? Here are a few suggestions:
- Learn how to be more assertive
- Don’t feel guilty about saying no sometimes
- Explain to others what you want and that you have a right to some time to yourself
- Don’t get trapped in relationships which are abusive or damaging to yourself – you don’t deserve that
- Build your Self Confidence – Hypnosis downloads – quick, easy and guaranteed to help you build your confidence (prepared by experienced psychologists and gets my full recommendation)
- Listen to what your body is telling you. Don’t allow others to pressure you into doing things when you don’t feel up to it
- Use the incredible power of self hypnosis. Download “putting yourself first” now >>
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Website Author and Your Guide
Karl Perera is a fully qualified Life Coach (DipLC), Teacher (MA), and author of the book Self Esteem Secrets. He has taught at various universities including Durham, Leicester and Anglia Ruskin, Cambridge. He has run More-SelfEsteem.com since 1997 since suffering from low self esteem for more than 25 years overcoming it in his thirties.