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Personal Identity

Written by Karl Perera BA, MA, DipLC
Updated: June 1st, 2020

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In this short article I would like to explain how your personal identity affects your level of self esteem. I will show you what your personal identity is and how it can help or hurt you and what you can do to improve it and therefore boost your self esteem and confidence.

Image result for poll about personal identity

1. The unique part of you, your sense of self and your identity, is it simply the result of activity of brain chemicals?


2. Is your “self” and who you are (your identity) separate from your physical body?


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What is your personal identity?

Your personal identity is the way that you see yourself and is closely related to your self image. Thus, it is very important to you because it will affect the way you feel about yourself and how you behave in challenging situations.  Your personal identity includes:

Who are you?

  •       What makes you unique?
  •       What are your values?
  •       Your physical identity (what you think you look like to others) also known as body image
  •       Your internal identity (who you think you are in terms of your personality and character, values etc.)
  •       How you see yourself in relation to others
  •       How you identify yourself in terms of your job
  •       Your personal goals

Check out this full definition of personal identity

Your perceived v real identity

The most important thing to realise about your personal identity is that it can be close to how other people see you in which case you will be at harmony with the world and others around you, or it can be very different from how others see you. As a result, you may feel you are misunderstood and feel life is a battle to make others appreciate who you are.

One of the biggest problems people have with their personal identity is that they may not accept or may be blind to who they are and what they believe. Most of us today suffer from this to a certain extent because society seems to want us to behave and live in ways which may not be exactly what we want.

Confused About Your Personal Identity?

The first step towards higher self esteem is to be clear about who you are and what you believe. This is the goal of self awareness. But, before you can improve your self esteem or indeed make any positive changes to your life you need to devote time to this form of self improvement. Therefore, understanding your personal identity is a necessary first step and only after this step can you think about how to change your life positively.

How Your Personal Identity Helps You Improve Your Self Esteem

Let’s look a little closer to understand how your personal identity affects your level of self esteem.  I hope you will begin to see how you can improve the way you see yourself and therefore your self esteem and confidence will increase.

1.      Who are you? What makes you tick? Knowing this can lead you closer towards decisions which help you live as you want to, not as others want or how you feel you should.

2.      What makes you unique? Nobody among the billions of people living on this planet now or the billions of people who lived before, is, or was, ever exactly like you. Realize this, enjoy being you, have the courage to be different and your self esteem will improve.

3.      What are your values? If you want to feel good about yourself then you need to understand what your values are and start living them. Many people compromise their values and believe they must live a certain way but this is the road to unhappiness and low self esteem.

4.      Your internal identity – your personality and character make you unique and you should value them. So, focus on what positives you have in these two areas. What do you think are good aspects in your personality which help you or attract others to you? There is always something positive you can find if you look carefully. If you have a friend then what do you think they like about your character? Improvement here will raise your self esteem a lot.

5.      How you see yourself in relation to others – this is related to your status as you see it. If you believe you have very low status, you will suffer low self esteem. However, if you feel you have a high status this will help you. The way to feel happier and improve your self esteem is to accept yourself based upon your values.  Try not to compare yourself to others. Those who are very competitive do this all the time and are unhappy with low self esteem. Your own standards are more important than other’s so follow what you want and believe.

6.      How you identify yourself in terms of your job – don’t make the mistake of thinking that a job defines who you are, it is only what you do and nothing more.

7.      Your personal goals – say a lot about who you are and the values you hold. But, if you want to improve your self esteem you should have goals that move you closer to being who you really are. Check out my e-book “Self Esteem Secrets” and make your goal a new you…

How Can Your Personal Identity Hurt or Help You?

Once you understand who and what you are and what values you hold dear you will be able to make better decisions. As a result, you can move closer to where you want to be. I believe that your self esteem depends on you being yourself living true to your nature. Ignoring who you are is a recipe for pain and misery. So, follow your personal identity and let it guide you to a better place.

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Website Author and Editor Bio

Photo of Karl Perera, MA, DipLC Karl Perera is a fully qualified Life Coach (DipLC), Teacher (MA) and author of Self Esteem Secrets. He has taught at various universities including Durham, Leicester and Anglia Ruskin, Cambridge. He has run since 1997 and is an expert in Self Esteem and Self Confidence.

6 thoughts on “Personal Identity”

  1. Sariah Meagle

    My sister was having a hard time in her school because of an identity crisis. It was explained here there are tests that can be taken for personal identity. Furthermore, it’s recommended to go to a Christian conference about self-identity.

  2. Anonymous

    I love this. Trying to explore who I am. Very difficult

  3. O. akway

    This is very good and important article. It touch my heart as it help me learn about my self identity. Thank you

  4. anonymous

    My identity is lost! this article lost it!

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