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How can I improve my self esteem?

Written by Karl Perera BA, MA, DipLC
April 30th, 2014 | Updated: December 27th, 2019

Want to improve your self esteem? Here are a few tips to get you started.

Everything you've ever wanted is on the other side of fear!

  • Focus on your achievements – if you take some time to consider this, you will realize that you have achieved so many things in your life. It doesn’t matter what these achievements are exactly, only that they are important to you. List them and think about what they meant to you. It doesn’t matter what you think about your life at present, if you are honest with yourself you will make a long list and that will make you feel good. Every small thing you are proud of should be added to your list. The fact that you are focusing on positives will also help you to increase your level of self esteem.
  • Make plans for the future – following on from above, the next thing to do is stop wasting time and procrastinating and get planning! What would you like to do but felt you couldn’t? Time to decide for yourself that you will do it now! Make a list of things you want to do, or want to change, and start thinking about how to make a start.  Then take a breath and just begin. you won’t look back, I promise you!
  • What do you like about yourself? – if you have low self esteem you probably keep reflecting on the things you don’t like about yourself, but if you reverse this thinking it is much more helpful. What do your friends like about you? Have you ever asked yourself that or even better, have you ever asked them? After you have listed all the things you like about yourself then the negative things seem smaller and less important.
  • What can you change that will make you feel better about yourself? There are two kinds of changes you may wish to focus on. The first are changes in your life and how you are living it. Ask yourself are you happy in your job? Is it satisfying? Is there something else you’d rather do? Then what is stopping you from changing it? What about your relationships or your social life? If you would like to be more assertive, for example, then start working on that immediately. How? Well here’s a great place to start : click this link to get Assertiveness Training – a really helpful self hypnosis download that will help you enormously. Whatever it is that you feel you need to change then go ahead and do it. This will make you feel more in control of your life and your self esteem will begin to pick up.
  • Accept yourself and who you are – there are many things about your personality and character and your life that you may not be able to change and that shouldn’t hold you back. Learn to accept those things and understand why you can still be happy and feel good about yourself despite these things. Try saying – well at least I am reasonably well off, or at least whatever you can think of that is positive. At least turns a negative into a positive.
  • Disabilities are big hang-ups for many, but a disability doesn’t have to be an obstacle to your self esteem. If you have a disability, no matter what it is, then understand that there are many people with disabilities both physical and mental who have refused to let themselves feel bad because of it. The attitude you have is the most important thing. Your self esteem depends not on your disability but on your reaction to it, and above all, how you think about it. The idea is to change your attitude and thinking not the disability which may be permanent. Your self esteem is not set in stone, it can be improved as you work on yourself. I think you can indeed escape. You have decided to believe what you can or cannot do, change that and you can escape the prison which is your attitude. A shining example of this is Amy Purdy, who lost both her legs at the age of 19 but kept following her dreams to become a professional snowboarder – despite all the obstacles, she became the world’s top ranked adaptive female snowboarder, and she has been actively helping out others with disabilities. Check out the video below, it’s extremely inspirational!

One of the best things you can do to improve your self esteem is to try out self-hypnosis. This is not like what you see in the movies or on stage – no one is going to trick you into a sleeping state or have you at their mercy. You remain fully aware and conscious. In fact, in a way you become more aware than ever, and are presented with the opportunity to re-evaluate certain patterns of behaviour and thinking. Listening to empowering suggestions crafted by skilled and experienced psychologists, you naturally become more flexible and creative. And so you naturally feel better about yourself and more ready to take on the many challenges of life.

Uncommon Knowledge offers a lot of excellent self-hypnosis courses. I highly recommend Build your Self Confidence to start with – it is quick and easy to get acquainted with, and I guarantee it will help build your confidence. Remember, these courses are crafted by experienced psychologists using data from a vast selection of studies to help provide the best results. I have tried these courses myself and give them my highest recommendation. Self-confidence is key – if you feel more confident you will naturally feel better about yourself and your life in general, and will see a wonderful jump in your self esteem level. So what are you waiting for? Get started today. 

Self Esteem Tips

Here is a great tip from a reader – there’s some fantastic advice here.

Send me your tips and I may publish it here. Oh and please sign up for my newsletter if you haven’t already.

“I will overcome my low self esteem with the help of positive or creative thinking” – Jawad”Thanks for the emails. This is more of a comment as opposed to a question. I’m fresh out of college looking for a job. I just recently established my first meaningful relationship with a female. I’ve had relations with girls before but this is my 1st full blown girlfriend. I feel like it’s done wonders for me. I’m more productive, my social skills have improved & I’m waking up earlier. I feel like I already possessed these skills but my new relationship brought it out of me. The changes in myself have been very noticeable. I remember in one of your emails from a while back you mentioned how having good relationships will help your self-esteem and I think you were completely right. I’ve been in such a good mood lately that I felt like I needed to share my experience. I wish I would have established a meaningful relationship sooner like in high school or college but better late than never. I still have problems. I still wish I was a little more in shape, I’m still fresh out of college back at my moms house looking for a job..etc but I don’t feel overwhelmed by these so called problems. I now realize that I have the tools needed to fix any of my problems and that’s what I plan on doing. Once again, I appreciate your emails. They’ve been very helpful & hopefully I can help someone else the way you’ve helped me.” – Samuel

My comments to the above tip:

“Thanks Samuel for sharing this. Yes, you do have amazing potential inside and we all do. Relationships can bring out the best and worst in us. I’m glad for your happiness. There is a lesson here. If you want higher self esteem, love can help you achieve it.”

“I have been visiting this site a while and it’s fantastic. Whenever I’m feeling bad about myself it gives me a real lift. The advice on here is second to none and has made me feel like a better person. Thanks for your words of inspiration.”


Before you go – If you’re serious about improving your self esteem, I also recommend you download this fantastic self-hypnosis program – Building Self EsteemThis is one of the first programs I tried through Uncommon Knowledge and it works like a charm! It is designed to help you obtain the inner strength and courage you need to overcome difficulties, improve your social and working relationships and help improve your overall self-confidence. Give it a try and let me know what you think! I’m convinced it will change your life!

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