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When you are low on self esteem and confidence it is easy to fall into bad habits which make your situation worse and stop you from being successful at anything. This is especially true in termes of social communication. There is a link between level of self esteem and low confidence and ability to communicate effectively . Most of this comes from sabotaging yourself and feeding your negative thoughts. One easy way to improve your life is to follow some of the habits of successful people and avoid doing the things that unsuccessful people do. Fostering the right growth mindset is important. Take a look at this:
Based on the information above, are you able to see how you can attract success and boost your self esteem?
Below are the key takeaways you should think about when you think of what it takes to be successful.
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Regardless of their circumstances, successful people always try and see the positives in the situations they face on a daily basis. I cannot stress enough how vital this mindset is if you want to achieve your goals and be happy. No matter what you’re going through, your attitude towards life and whatever it is it throws your way can make all the difference. Considering failure, doubting yourself or focusing on even the tiniest flaw you can find is often the first step towards failure.
Surround yourself with positive people who believe in you and can help you push your limits. Count your blessings, accept what you have available to you and always strive to do your best with the cards life has dealt you. Most importantly, remember that failure is the greatest teacher and that the most successful people in the world have failed countless times before they were able to reach their true potential.
“Don’t be afraid to make mistakes, to stumble and fall, cause most of the time, the greatest rewards come from doing the things that scare you the most. Maybe you’ll get everything you wish for. Maybe you’ll get more than you ever could have imagined. Who knows where life will take you. The road is long and in the end, the journey is the destination.”
In order to be successful, you need to set yourself some goals. These should be set so that they can challenge you and push you to achieve. There is no such thing as dreaming too big when it comes to setting out your aims. The obstacles and boundaries you think of are often a creation of your mind and not based on facts. I don’t want this to sound cliché, but it’s true, once you believe in yourself and aim for the fences, the world really is your oyster. There is living proof of this all around you, you just need to look a little closer and realise your own potential.
Eagerness to Continuously Learn and Improve
Successful people have one extremely important trait in common: they are always hungry for more. They accept that they can always learn more and do better rather than settling for what they have. The majority of this learning does not take place in schools but out there in the real world, particularly outside your comfort zone. The more you expose yourself to activities and interactions outside your own bubble, the more room there is for improvement and success! Here are my recommendations for books you MUST read for your success and personal growth.
There is no point in setting goals if you’re not willing to take action and start working towards them. If you want to be successful, you need to focus your energy on action. It can often be hard to get started and to maintain your motivation for the long run. Breaking your goals down into smaller, simpler tasks can make daunting tasks a lot more achievable, and help you build your motivation as you go ahead and start ticking your boxes one at a time. Make sure you give yourself credit even for the smallest of achievements and remain proactive!
Dedication and Hard Work
It may be a given, but I still need to stress how important this point is. If you want to be successful, you’ve got to be willing to put in your best effort. If you’ve found something you’re truly passionate about, this shouldn’t really be a problem. If you’re willing to put in the time and effort, to accept your mistakes and learn from them, sooner or later you will enjoy the fruits of your dedication.
Emotions are temporary and ever-changing, yet many people allow them to affect their decision-making process. Regardless of how you feel, your decisions should be fact based. Emotions often lead to quick decisions which have not been fully considered, and often result in unsatisfying outcomes and regret. Learning to take control of emotions is one of the stepping stones to finding success in life.
Making Decisions and your Self Esteem
This section is taken from one of my early newsletters (number 5 in fact, from 2002). Click here to get my weekly inspirational newsletter.
Have you got an important decision to make? Your self esteem will play a part in every aspect of your decision making.
Here’s a few points to remember when making important decisions:
- Make decisions only when you feel good and your self esteem level is highest.
- Work hard always to keep your self esteem high.
- When your self esteem is high you will focus on your needs and those of others as well.
- When considering various courses of action never take one which will hurt your self esteem. All decisions should boost your self esteem.
An example: If you resign and take a less demanding job you will suffer a drop in your level of self esteem. BAD DECISION! If, however, the new job gives you much more satisfaction and you perceive it to be of more value then you will increase your self esteem. GOOD DECISION!
Self esteem is not always based on logic as it is more to do with your emotions.
When you draw up a list of pros and cons and try to make your decision based on logic you are neglecting an important aspect of the problem and that is how you feel. Ask yourself does this decision increase or decrease your self esteem, do you feel good or bad about the decision? What about others involved? How does your decision affect their self esteem?
Self esteem will also affect your carrying out the decision. Low self esteem will prevent you from having the self confidence to back your decision with action especially if it is a hard or important decision. So:
Work on your self esteem and have the confidence to back your decisions!
Build your Self Confidence – Hypnosis downloads – quick, easy and guaranteed to help you build your confidence (prepared by experienced psychologists and gets my full recommendation). With more confidence you will be able to make better decisions and succeed!
Successful People Read Inspiring Books
There are many helpful books on self esteem. Check out the self help bookstore for my personal selection of the best of these.
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Successful people are confident and extremely good at communicating, but you have to realise that no one is born that way! Communication skills can be improved through practice and perseverance. Confidence when communicating will result in more people paying attention to the points you are trying to put across, can aid you in conflict resolution and help you develop stronger relationships with those around you, all of which are extremely useful in your quest for success.
There are times in life when we truly can’t tell what may or may not work, and sometimes we just have to roll the dice. That’s not to say you should take risks 24/7, but sometimes you need to remember that if you never try, you’ll never know. The fear of failure is often the biggest obstacle in taking risks. You should remember that failure is one of the biggest teachers and there is no shame in failing. Failure can only increase your chances of success the next time around!
Those who are successful weigh the positives and negatives and make sure they get the facts before making a move. Weigh both sides of the coin before making critical decisions, making sure you are well informed and ready for all scenarios. Don’t allow fears to stop you from achieving what you want. Fear is simply False Evidence Appearing Real. Stick to the facts instead, and you will get there.
If you want to be successful, honesty is extremely important. Lies have a way of catching up to us and causing even greater problems than those they were attempting to cover up in the first place. Being honest helps you in your relationships, makes you dependable and helps you obtain trust, all of which are extremely important.
Understand that just a small change each day can give you HUGE improvements and remember that the aim should never be to change who you are but to bring out the real you!
Girodo, M., Dotzenroth, S.E. & Stein, S.J. “Causal attribution bias in shy males: Implications for self-esteem and self-confidence” Cognitive Therapy Research (1981) 5: 325.
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Website Author and Editor Bio
Karl Perera is a fully qualified Life Coach (DipLC), Teacher (MA) and author of Self Esteem Secrets. He has taught at various universities including Durham, Leicester and Anglia Ruskin, Cambridge. He has run More-SelfEsteem.com since 1997 and is an expert in Self Esteem and Self Confidence.