Written by Karl Perera, MA, DipLC
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According to Hughes and Thomas (1986), feeling good about yourself depends on how we feel about our abilities and skills, our level of control over our lives, how we act according to our principles and whether we feel we deserve love and respect from others. In fact, as you can see this sense of self-worth is what we call self esteem.
Feeling good about yourself is only possible when you have a healthy level of self esteem and sense of self-worth. In order to feel good about yourself, you need to be happy with who you are and the direction your life is taking. Being confident in the decisions you make and trusting in your ability to succeed is also very important.
If you want to know how to feel better about yourself, then you need to follow what I have to say here. In my years of writing about the topic of self esteem and self-improvement plus my experience teaching and coaching those with low self esteem, I am able to tell you what really works and what doesn’t. Let’s start by looking at each of the factors that can help you to feel good about who you are.
The First Step in Feeling Good About Yourself Is to Recognise Your Skills and Abilities
There are lots of good reasons to feel positive about yourself and who you really are. One of these is to acknowledge your skills and abilities. Everybody has unique skills and abilities. What are yours?
You may be unaware of your skills and abilities and the true value they have, or because of a lack of confidence you may not use them as you should. Becoming more aware of your existing skills and abilities and developing them so they are major strengths can help you to build your confidence and self esteem. But how do you get past the fears and lack of confidence that might be holding you back? Try some of the confidence-building techniques on Mindtools, such as a SWOT analysis, and learn to practice assertiveness.
Be Happy That You Have Some Control Over Your Life
Know what you want. Learn who you are. It is only when you know what you want in life that you are able to take some control over your future. Always remember that you cannot control everything so be flexible in your plans. As long as you feel you are moving in the right direction towards your goals, you will feel good about yourself and your decisions.
Self awareness will really help you to understand what you want. Self development and personal growth is a worthwhile aim and can pay off because you will better understand why you have a certain goal and what it means to you to achieve it. Knowing yourself better can also build self confidence which will make you stronger and more likely to succeed.
Build your Self Confidence – Get this great self hypnosis download now! Because without confidence you will not be able to face the hard challenges or decisions that await you and, in addition, lack of confidence will impact your relationships, career and success.
Saying thanks to the world, and acknowledging your own accomplishments, is a great way to feel good and stay positive.Rachel Robins
Remember your achievements no matter how small. Everybody has done amazing things in their life and you are no exception. What are your major achievements?
Allow Your Principles and Values To Guide Your Actions
Be true to yourself. Examine what you are saying to others and how you behave and act, is this the real you? When you decide on important things consider what you truly need or want and make decisions based on honesty admitting the truth of the situation to yourself and others.
Improve yourself always and whenever you can as there is no-one on this planet who cannot benefit from some self-analysis and self development. Setting aside time each day to work on self improvement is something that will make you feel so much better.
Don’t compromise on your values. Don’t work in a job if it does not serve others in a way that helps you feel you are contributing to society. Stay honest to who you are and you will raise your self esteem and feel so much better about your life.
Understand and Know That You Deserve To Be Loved and Accepted by Others
Learn to be your own best friend. What could you do to be kinder to yourself?
According to Robert Cloninger, we need to be determined to be more patient with ourselves, and avoid inner conflict as much as possible. He also emphasizes the importance of self awareness in understanding what we need to accept and what we need to deal with, both inside us and out.
According to Iyania Vanzant, love is so much more than a pleasant feeling. She says, in her book, Finding Yourself and the Love You Want, that it is a sense of well-being that requires us to accept the emotional risks that come with it positively.
Be grateful for what you have. Learn to love and appreciate what you have now before chasing new things you think will make you happy. If you are not happy now with all that you have why do you believe you will be happy with what you gain in the future?
Take These Actions Now to Start feeling Good About Yourself
Here are two steps you can take right now:
- Actively work on feeling good about yourself. This can include examining your self talk. If you can learn to talk to yourself more positively then the path you take will be much more likely to lead you somewhere good. Raising your self esteem and looking after yourself mentally and physically are all components of the journey you need to follow if you want to feel good about yourself.
- Try the amazing power of Self hypnosis. I recommend this if you are having trouble being positive. Get the Feel Good About Yourself hypnosis CD – and use the power of your mind to build a more positive you!
Spread the love and Be More Positive
You can’t really affect what is going on in the world at large but what you can do is to change yourself and how you act towards others. If you act with love and genuinely help others then this will help you start feeling good about yourself.
If you contribute to the world in a positive way then you have a purpose and you have value. Success is truly not about how much money you have in your bank account but how you affect the lives of others.
Learn to love yourself first and accept your faults, working on them as far as you can. Then you will be able to love others more. Forgive yourself and then you can forgive others too. Doing this you will begin to feel good about who you are.
Imagine a More Confident You – Here’s How to Make it Happen!
Selected Books To Feel Better About Yourself and Improve Your Life
Finally, in order to start making a change in your life it is necessary to become focused and inspired and I have some excellent books to recommend to you all of which are not just books you will read and then forget about, they are real life changers and highly practical. Check here for my recommended books on self esteem – they WILL change your life, I guarantee.
How your health can help you feel good about yourself
If you are someone who continues to suffer from depression or just can’t seem to get out of your own funk, then you may be facing additional health issues. While it may not at first be obvious, how healthy you are plays a key role in determining your overall happiness and mood. If you want to make sure that you’re doing what you can to make yourself happy, consider some of the following changes that you might need to make.
- Drug or Alcohol Problems
Addiction comes with its own nasty pitfalls that can greatly deter you from good health. Self-improvement requires achieving sobriety and recovery from substance abuse. You can’t feel happy and good while being addicted to drugs or alcohol. While both take a heavy toll on your body beyond mood and mental health, addiction also actively keeps your brain from being able to feel happy or good on its own. That’s simply how addiction and drugs work.
As such, you need to take the time to help yourself and get off drugs and alcohol. Whether it’s through a program or rehab, you’re going to feel a lot better in the long-run if you kick the habit. Fortunately, there is rehab that works with insurance, so those with healthcare are encouraged to take advantage of this opportunity. Those without health insurance can still seek treatment, either through out-of-pocket expense or via nonprofit organizations.
The first step to examining how health affects our happiness is to determine if your diet is poor or rich in nutrients. With how everything is priced at the grocery store and at fast food restaurants, it’s easy to choose foods that are convenient or not necessarily good for you. They just tend to be cheaper and easier to fix. With life already busy, and you likely feeling exhausted, cooking meals that are healthy may seem like something that is beyond you at this stage in your life.
However, a poor diet can actually be the reason behind your melancholy. By filling up on fast food cheeseburgers and clogging your arteries with greasy fries or eating a carton of ice cream every night, you’re really not doing yourself any favors. For one, you’re probably adding to weight gain. This alone could have a large blow to your self-esteem. Second, those foods rarely give you the nutritional requirements that your body needs. Thus, you’re basically forcing your body to break down these foods without receiving the benefit that the food is supposed to offer. You’re spending energy instead of allowing the food to lend you energy. As such, you’re probably left feeling tired after you consume a meal.
By nixing the poor diet and eating healthy meals filled with vegetables and fruits, you’re sure to boost your energy levels, clean out your body, and start to feel a lot better about yourself.
By regularly exercising, you can not only improve your immune system and start to shed weight, but you can also add muscle definition. This can give you a huge self-esteem boost which can greatly impact your mood overall. Exercising also helps your body to perform better. Blood flow runs more smoothly, so nutrients, molecules, hormones, and other properties can be transported easily from the brain to other parts of your body efficiently. You’ll basically be running at peak performance.
Healthy Body, Healthy Mind
Instead of succumbing to the bleak outlook of your life, you can easily take your mood and happiness into your own hands. Follow some of these steps and really maximize the most of your life. There’s no excuse for not trying.
Please, before you leave this page…
- Cloninger, C. R. (2004). Feeling good: the science of well-being. Oxford University Press.
- Hughes, R., & Thomas, C. S. (1986). Feeling good about yourself. Circular (University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign. Cooperative Extension Service) 1245.
- Mindtools. (N.D.). Building Self-Confidence. https://www.mindtools.com/selfconf.html
- Vanzant, I. (1999). In the meantime: Finding yourself and the love you want. Atria Books.
Website Author and Your Guide
Karl Perera is a fully qualified Life Coach (DipLC), Teacher (MA), and author of the book Self Esteem Secrets. He has taught at various universities including Durham, Leicester and Anglia Ruskin, Cambridge. He has run More-SelfEsteem.com since 1997 since suffering from low self esteem for more than 25 years overcoming it in his thirties.