Written by Karl Perera, MA, DipLC
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Social interactions can be stressful, especially if you feel that you are not socially adept. It is a natural thing to feel a little awkward or inept in social situations but there are things that you can do to reduce your uneasiness.
One of the most important things that you can do is to understand what causes your anxiety. You might want to have an honest conversation with yourself and ask what it is about certain people or social situations that make you uncomfortable.
Feeling socially inept is a clear sign of social anxiety. Understanding the cause of your fears will allow you to work on overcoming them in a more effective way. Doing this will help you feel less socially inept and much more confident and able to communicate.
It may help if we remind ourselves that everyone has some form of unease when they have to interact with others. You might find comfort in knowing that everyone feels a bit socially inept sometimes, not just you.
How to Become More Socially Minded
There are three different types of social skills: empathy, perspective-taking, and sensitivity to social cues. Develop these skills for your own personal use and also for use in the workplace.
Becoming more socially-minded is a lot less difficult than you might think. It just requires a little bit of time and effort to learn about the different types of social skills, practice them with friends, family members, or coworkers and caring enough about other people’s feelings so that they know you care about them too!
Step out of your Comfort zone Socially and Interact
If you often feel socially inept, you need to step out of your comfort zone and try new things. Doing this will help you feel more confident in yourself and in new social situations.
Lack of self-confidence is a huge part of feeling socially inept and something you need to build up if you are to become better at social interaction.
You may be really shy or introverted, as I once was, but it is important that you try to make friends and get out there. If you don’t put yourself out there, then you’ll always stay at home where it is safe and you’ll always feel socially inept. It is important for comfortability that you put yourself on the line once in a while and go to places where there might be some people that are different from those you usually hang around with.
If you have a fear of public speaking, one way to overcome this fear is through taking baby steps by giving presentations at work or volunteer opportunities outside of the place where people know each other by name.
1. Join a club or organization that has events going on throughout the week
Find an organization that shares the same interests as you, or join one that has events going on that are relevant in your life. It’s so powerful and encouraging to be with others who share the same interests and is so helpful for your mental health.
For example, if you are a dog lover, then joining an animal rescue organization would be a perfect fit for your interests. You can get involved by volunteering at the shelter, taking care of pets at home, or even raising money for medical treatments and food. By joining the organization and getting involved with its events, you will be able to network with other people who share the same interest and create friendships in your community.
2. Start a conversation with someone new at least once a week
As our lives become busier and busier, we tend to neglect the people who we care about. We get so busy that we barely have time to talk to our loved ones, let alone strangers. But this is an issue because it leaves us feeling lonely and socially inept. One way to solve this problem is by initiating conversations with people that you don’t know. This will give you a chance to start new relationships and make new friends.
3. Get active in your community and find out about fun events happening in your area
While there are plenty of things you can do on your own, it can be more fulfilling to have others with you. There are many events happening in your area that you may not know about. By getting active in your community and finding out about these events, you will be able to find out more about the world around you and make new friends as well. This is so important because developing good communication skills can transform your life and build your confidence.
Many people also find out that by getting active in their community, they will be able to learn more about what is happening in their area and keep up with the latest news.
Getting involved in a community not only helps build relationships and friendships but also helps people stay connected with the world around them.
4. Strike up conversations with people while waiting in line or when you’re both browsing the same aisle at the grocery store
Strike up a conversation with someone else waiting in line, or when both of you are browsing the same aisle.
It’s an opportunity to learn about another person and even help them. It’s also possible that they might be interested in you, so it is an opportunity to reach out to others. As I found when I felt socially inept and shy, it is so important to connect with others and the longer you stay isolated, the more anxious you feel in social situations.
5. Join social media groups and forums related to topics that interest you
Joining social media groups and forums is a great way to learn more about a topic that interests you. Just be aware that social media can also have effects on your self esteem.
Joining social media groups and forums is one of the best ways to learn more about topics that interest you because they are usually shared with an audience who may be looking for the same thing.
This is a good way to engage in conversations on topics of interest and get feedback from others on how they solved their problems. Improving your communication skills should be a top priority.
How to Make Friends More Easily
The hardest part of making friends is starting the conversation. If you have a problem with finding something to say when meeting someone new, ask them about themselves! Everyone loves to talk about themselves and for so many, this is their favourite topic!
Ask them about themselves! It’s simple, and it doesn’t make you feel like you’re making small talk.
To Laugh at Yourself is to Love Yourself
Humour is a key aspect of human life. It helps us to release endorphins, relieve stress, and bond with others. Humour can also be used as a coping mechanism for people who have anxiety disorders or have trouble in social situations.
There are many different types of humour that can be utilized by people. These include slapstick comedy, farce, black comedy, and absurdist humour. The most popular being satire and parody which use irony to ridicule the foolishness of humans. People might find these two forms of humour to be more therapeutic than others because it is easier for them to laugh at themselves than others around them.
Feeling Socially Inept and Lacking Confidence?
Many people who lack self confidence find that in social situations they feel uncomfortable or unnatural. Do you feel uneasy in social situations and have problems being yourself? If you do, then what should you do to improve your social skills and self confidence?
If you’ve ever been in a social situation where whatever you said came out wrong and everything you did seemed felt inept and out of character, then you’re not alone as nearly everyone has experienced this at some time. If, however, this is so regular that you just feel you can’t be yourself socially then two things are happening: you’re very nervous and your self confidence is lacking when you need it most. You may also have social anxiety. Luckily, you can not only cope with this but also make it work to your advantage! So, how can you actually improve your social skills and overcome your shyness?
How to Improve Social Skills
1. Nerves are good, actors use their nervousness in a positive way to improve their performance. How? Laugh at it, make a joke about it! Don’t take it so seriously and try to settle yourself with laughter. Everybody knows what it is like to be nervous, you just need to overcome it. Try slowing down a second or two and relaxing your breathing. Click here to read more about relaxation techniques. Once you have relaxed a little go for it.
2. Smile – this automatically makes you look more confident, less self conscious and relaxes your facial muscles. If you look more confident people will respond better which in turn will make you feel more at ease and relaxed.
3. Dress in a way to make yourself feel comfortable and in a suitable way for the situation. This will make you feel better about yourself and so much more relaxed. When you are relaxed you can perform much more naturally.
4. Whatever the situation is from socializing at a party to making a public speech make sure you prepare for the situation as well as you can so that you’ll be ready with words when you need them. This will add to feelings of self confidence.
5. There are many ways to improve your self confidence and to stop feeling socially inept, and this is explained in this fantastic hypnotic Quick Self Confidence Program – Download it now! Also I recommend you buy the CD Trainer which is a wonderful tool which will enable you to build your self esteem and confidence step by step and make this change permanent. I only recommend it because I have benefited from it myself.
The main problem with being socially confident is that people make judgments quickly, so you want to not only look confident and feel relaxed but also have the courage to speak honestly and express your true feelings (except when they would hurt someone of course). In order to do this, you will need to have the self-esteem to help you to value yourself and your right to speak out.
If you believe in yourself and respect your own opinions and values, then you will be able to speak and behave in a way that is true to yourself. So give your opinions and don’t be worried about disagreeing with others. Most people enjoy a well thought out discussion and will respect your personal viewpoint provided you express it convincingly. If you ever try to say something you do not truly believe in, then it will come out unnaturally and you won’t be taken seriously.
Feeling socially inept is something you can, with careful attention, reduce with practice. Start today by being true to who you are and have faith in yourself and your point of view. When you give more of yourself to others they will respond and your relationships will also improve and develop.
Want to be more relaxed and natural in social situations? Here’s a wonderful way to achieve this. Try one of the Self Hypnosis Downloads available now. They will help you retrain your unconscious responses to social situations so you are able to be more relaxed, communicate fluently and become more popular by being the true and authentic you.
Website Author and Your Guide
Karl Perera is a fully qualified Life Coach (DipLC), Teacher (MA), and author of the book Self Esteem Secrets. He has taught at various universities including Durham, Leicester and Anglia Ruskin, Cambridge. He has run More-SelfEsteem.com since 1997 since suffering from low self esteem for more than 25 years overcoming it in his thirties.