How to Boost Your Self Confidence

Written by Karl Perera BA, MA, DipLC
Updated: March 25th, 2020

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Before we start talking about the steps you should follow in order to boost your self confidence let’s think about the benefits that more confidence will give you. How would your life be better if you were more confident?

If you were confident you would definitely worry less and you would believe in your abilities to succeed in whatever you need to do. You would be happier and less stressed. You would feel more excited about living. New opportunities would become possible for you in an instant. Self confidence helps you to believe that you can overcome the most difficult of challenges and enjoy being successful. Your negativity would be a thing of the past and rather than listen to negative comments from others you would encourage yourself to be the fantastic person you know you can be.

Happiness is something that comes from enjoying the challenges that life throws at you and new confidence will bring you both success and happiness. It is often said that happiness is not a result but enjoying the journey you take towards achieving something. How can you enjoy your life’s journey if you are fearful and negative and lack self confidence?

Building confidence will bring you benefits both personally and professionally. Getting a great job and becoming successful in it demands confidence. If you have it you will earn the respect of others and this will boost you further.

Benefits are so many including more happiness and more success. Your ambition will grow and your hope of achieving your dreams will also.

Why should you believe in yourself?

Because you are unique, you see things differently from anyone else, you are therefore special and original and can do things that others can’t. You have something to contribute and you can help others because of your life experience, think back to your successes and you will see that if you believe you can achieve. The only limits you have in this world really are those in your mind.

To become more confident and improve your communication skills there are many things you can do but I suggest you first check this page for self confidence tips and then go here to Build your Self Confidence – Hypnosis downloads – quick, easy and guaranteed to help you build your confidence (prepared by experienced psychologists and gets my full recommendation)

If you lack self confidence there is one enemy waiting for you who can strike at any moment. That enemy is depression. One way of avoiding depression is to build your self esteem. Liking yourself is a big part of becoming more confident. Your self esteem will protect you from negative comments and criticisms from others.

Follow These Steps to Become More Confident:

  • The following steps and much more can be found on this helpful page about confidence building tips
  • Build your self esteem by considering the things you like about yourself and those you don’t. Think about all the things you do like about yourself and write them down where you can read them each day. Now think about everything you don’t like about yourself. Could be your weight, your appearance, your lack of hair? Here’s a truth: you have two choices for each thing you don’t like – either accept it or change it. You cannot change many things so you have to learn how to accept them. The things you can change such as your weight or your fitness you need to get motivated and design a plan to take action and create the change you want. You’ll need willpower but if you truly want to change something then YOU CAN.
  • One thing you may like to change is your appearance. Improve how you dress, this will make you feel much better and more confident immediately and people will treat you differently. Spending some money on new clothes that make you feel great can have a very positive effect on you and those around you. If you look confident, you’ll feel confident.In the same way pay attention to your grooming, your hairstyle, keep it clean and shower every morning. Common things but important.
  • One mistake people often make when trying to build self esteem and confidence is that they concentrate too much on themselves and forget that one of the most important ways to get more from life, (whatever you seek), is to give first. How can this help? If you give others compliments, smiles and positive words then they will return them to you. A giving person receives so much more than he or she gives. Be generous and kind to others and you will attract people who will help you to live a happier and more enjoyable life. Your confidence will soar! 
  • Fears grow with negative thinking and if you avoid the things which scare you your confidence will drop. Work out what you fear most at work or in general life and confront that fear by gradually step by step taking on the fear and overcoming it. For example, giving presentations is a common fear but being successful at them will bring many benefits to you both professionally and personally. first speak in a small group and raise a question or two. Gradually try speaking up in more difficult situations and if you feel able when you are ready to say goodbye to your fear, do a presentation. Each step and successful attempt you make the better you will feel about yourself and your fear will get less and your confidence will take you further.
  • You should face your fears and work to overcome them so that your success will boost your self belief. Avoiding the things you fear most will make them stronger and hurt your confidence. No pain, no gain!
  • You may have a problem with shyness and if so this may make you avoid certain situations or social events. Being sociable is so important in so many areas of life and if you avoid social situations you find difficult the result is as we just described above. Being shy does not have to be permanent. It is something you can certainly change. I used to be very shy but I worked on it and now enjoy my life like I never could when I was suffering. Shyness will almost certainly affect your self confidence in a bad way so you need to do something about it.
  • Find your motives. What most motivates you? 1. success and achievement 2. giving to others 3. being loved. Once you know what motivates you then you can plan what to do to become more confident. Be careful about the third option though because being dependent on others for their approval and love is another trap so many people fall into.
  • Know your strengths and your limits. Start with your strengths as these are positive. What are your real strengths? How can you live your life and use these strengths more? This requires self awareness. Spending time to better know yourself is the beginning of real self improvement and is never time wasted. After you list your strengths you do need to consider your limits so that you can decide where you need to improve or if there are things you should choose to avoid. Be careful not to confuse your real limits with your negative beliefs about your abilities. Honesty with yourself is a big part of self awareness.
  • Saying no when you want to and not feeling bad about it is also a good step – click to find out more about assertiveness training – how to become more assertiveHope this helps, oh and do consider buying the self confidence CD Trainer as I highly recommend this to you in addition to the free course check this out here: Self Confidence CD Trainer To gain confidence you must push yourself and take small but sure steps, good luck! Build your Self Confidence – Hypnosis downloads – quick, easy and guaranteed to help you build your confidence (prepared by experienced psychologists and gets my full recommendation).
  • Note down daily every positive step you take towards achieving what you want to do in your life and focus on how to move forward.

The Most Important thing to Remember

We have looked at some real steps you can take now to boost your self confidence and I have one final thing to say here. The most important factor of all in regards to your self esteem or confidence is what you think you can do, what you think and not what others tell you.

So be bold and go for it! Decide yourself what you will do and how you will do it and don’t give up until you succeed. The rewards are well worth it! 

Take action and increase your self confidence!

Download this recommended self hypnosis program now:

Self Confidence Trainer
(Double CD)

The Self Confidence Trainer leads you step-by-step towards greater confidence and self esteem.

Improve your Confidence Today

When you arrived on this page maybe you were asking: “Can I really improve my confidence in one day?” The answer is a big YES. There are many things you can do today that will instantly build your self confidence. Read on to find out how…

What You Can Do Today to Start Boosting Your Confidence

Here are a number of things to try:


Think about what you will face today. What challenges lie ahead of you? Are there any things you think may be helped with a boost of self confidence? When you think of these note them down and begin to visualise or see yourself in each situation doing what you need to do skilfully and completely relaxed and sure of yourself. Notice how you feel and see yourself smiling. You are calm. Watch others around you and imagine them looking on with smiles and approving faces. See yourself being totally in control and achieving the success you want. The more real you make this the better. When you finish with one situation or challenge go on to the next one as you noted down before. Do the same. The idea is to practise in your head being and feeling confident as you face the challenges ahead. Visualisation is something that you should repeat a couple of times if possible and will certainly help you to feel more positive and confident about the challenges that face you today. This technique will help you build self confidence today and is helpful with many different situations such as interviews, socialising and making new friends. It is also helpful with any kind of performance and in overcoming fear and anxiety you may have.

  • Try this (thousands of readers already have):
Having problems with your self confidence? Build your Self Confidence – Hypnosis downloads – quick, easy and guaranteed to help you build your confidence (prepared by experienced psychologists and gets my full recommendation)

Correct your posture and body language

When your posture is good you’ll automatically feel more confident. Try straightening up and standing tall looking forward and smiling. This will make you not only feel confident but others will respond better as you look like you now really have confidence. Body language can send negative signals to others and this may cause them to react badly which will kill any self confidence you have. If others receive positive body language messages then they will help you because their reaction to what you say or do will be so much more positive. Others often mirror your body language so imagine the effect when others smile and make positive signals towards you.

How you speak

This has a great effect on how you feel and is also another way to send out positive rather than negative signals to others. To speak confidently slow down a little and speak clearly and directly. Smile as you do this. Make eye contact. Remove any negative language such as “I can’t” or “I doubt” and replace them with positive words. Be expressive and calm.

Relaxing is very important and this is helped by breathing gently. You can start relaxing today. Feeling relaxed increases confidence.

Change the way you speak to yourself

Say encouraging and positive things to yourself and cut all the negative voices in your head. Learn how to stop negative self talk. Negative self talk directly influence how you feel in any given moment and how you react to what is happening around you. For example, if you are going to deliver a presentation and all you can think to yourself is “I’m nervous, this is going to go really badly” then you are setting yourself up for failure. Building yourself up through positive self talk will make a huge difference. Replacing these types of negative thoughts in your mind with something like “I’m nervous, but that’s not going to stop me. I will channel this nervousness into positive energy to talk about my passion. Everyone gets nervous when they present and it’s perfectly normal. I am going to do great!”.

We often blow things out of proportion in our minds, as we allow fear to take over. It is important to remember that we all have fears, but we should never let our fears dictate our lives and tell us what we can and cannot do. Fear is referred to some as False Evidence Appearing Real. The voices in our head can often be overly critical and we have to counter the negative thoughts with realistic, fact based thoughts to boost our confidence.

Rethink your attitude towards failure and change

You can do this very quickly. Remember that mistakes are a way to learn and if you regard that as failure rather than the opportunity to improve you are holding back your self confidence. Realize that there is no failure just mistakes which show you that you need to try something different. There is no learning without mistakes. The key to success is to make mistakes over and over and learn from them. The most successful minds in the history of the planet faced failure over and over again, but instead of giving up persevered until they made their dreams come true. Have the confidence to try new things and accept change as necessary for your growth and success. You cannot truly fail unless you give up.

Those who have serious accidents face huge challenges and often suffer from problems of low self esteem. It is possible to work through this. An example of this is regaining confidence after a car crash such an accident.

ACT confidently, you will feel confident

Act as if you are a success and you’ll feel successful. Talk as if you can achieve success and you will feel more confident. Behave as if you are filled with unstoppable self confidence and you will certainly feel it. The opposite is true and the sad fact is that we often look and behave in way that stops us from having self confidence. Just try slouching and looking sad, stare down at the ground and how do you feel? Now stand up straight and tall with a smile on your face and calm breathing again how do you feel now? Fake it until you make it.

Building self confidence can happen today if you try the above steps and put some time and effort into this. the rewards for you will be enormous! I suggest you read my e-book which will show you step by step all you need to do to enjoy a life filled with amazing confidence and high self esteem. Get a copy today!

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Website Author and Editor Bio

Photo of Karl Perera, MA, DipLC Karl Perera is a fully qualified Life Coach, Teacher and author of Self Esteem Secrets. His qualifications include Masters and DipLC. He has taught at various universities including Durham, Leicester and Anglia Ruskin, Cambridge. He has run since 1997 and is an expert in Self Esteem and Self Development.

2 thoughts on “How to Boost Your Self Confidence”

  1. Karl Perera BA, MA, DipLC

    And thanks for your comment Franca. I totally agree, confidence can be built even from the depths of negativity.

  2. Franca Whyte

    Confidence can be a tough thing to build up, but it doesn’t mean you can’t build it up. The first stage to having self-confidence is saying “Yes I can and I will”. Thank you for this piece you’ve shared here.

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