Feel Abandoned By Family Members? Here’s what to do

Here is a poem sent to me by Stephan Kiyemba (2015) and published in his book, “You Are Not Desperate” all about feeling abandoned, it also touches on the subject of sexual abuse.

Though the subject is sad, it is a positive poem about human value and will teach you something about self esteem.

SLAM POETRY – ABA

Looking at her sparkling beauty, I could not resist the temptation to get close.

My mind raced up and down, searching for the best opening lines to captivate my prey.

At that moment, God was on my side, for her young brother came and called her by name – ABA,

Knowing her name, I invaded her territory and crafted my opener.

“Surely, your parents chose to name you after that famous music band – ABBA!

You must be a lover of music.”

∞

Her face beamed with joy as she smiled but suddenly sunk into a sullen mood saying:

“How I wish that was the reason!”

Looking at my perplexed face she explained.

“Far from that, ABA is the short form for abandoned.

My father named me Abandoned following mum’s death at my birth.”

∞

With remorse I interjected: “But you chose to keep a name that has tragic memories.

You should have changed it.”

She responded:

“How could I change it and yet everything about my life only proves that I was born to be abandoned?”

She narrated her ordeal.

“At the tender age of 7, my stepmother locked me in a room and starved me for days.

My father refused to pay my school fees forcing my uncle to come to my rescue.

Little did I know that this Good Samaritan would later turn monster and sexually abuse me.

This act occasioned poor performance at school which equally attracted ridicule and shame.

From the moment of my birth up until now, pain and suffering have become my closest allies.”

With tears flowing down her cheeks, she screamed:

“Surely God intended for me to be abandoned-my name is ABANDONED!”

∞

Sitting close to her I gently tapped her shoulders, wiped her tears and whispered:

“Aba, for you to be abandoned is one thing, but to accept it is completely another.

For in accepting the unbearable we become our own tormentors.

Our parents and other people may have given us a raw deal in the race of life;

But we alone can determine how we emerge out of that race,

By changing names such names as ABANDONED.

∞

I then knelt down and said, “from the moment I saw you I got intense feelings of admiration,

Will you then allow me to change your name from ABANDONED to ADMIRED?

From ABA to ADY?

© Stephan  Kiyemba 2013.

References:

Stephan Kiyemba (2015) You Are Not Desperate. Bloomington: Balboa Press

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Website Author and Editor Bio

Karl Perera is a fully qualified Life Coach (DipLC), Teacher (MA) and author of Self Esteem Secrets. He has taught at various universities including Durham, Leicester and Anglia Ruskin, Cambridge. He has run More-SelfEsteem.com since 1997 and is an expert in Self Esteem and Self Confidence.