Self Esteem Goals – How to Choose and Set Them

Written by Karl Perera MA, DipLC.

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It’s no secret that confident people get noticed first. You already exude something that promises competence and self-confidence. Healthy self esteem will allow you to bring out that natural self confidence from within yourself. On this page we’re going to look at how you can boost yourself esteem by pursuing goals which will benefit you in your professional and personal life.

Why is being confident so important to you anyway? And why is it so important for you to prioritise building yourself esteem?

For an employer, confidence is an important attribute when it comes to who gets the coveted job. There is so much competition nowadays for every job, that confidence can often make an important difference, not only in getting a job but also in how are you perform once you get that job .

If you have career goals but lack self-esteem, you need to take action so that you can be in a position to start setting the self-esteem goals that will enable you to develop your career. Doing this will also make you a much more valuable employee and can also help you to achieve promotion. These days in the world of work confidence is everything!

In your personal life too, being confident is so important. It will benefit your relationships, make you a better communicator and enable you to express your feelings much more openly. Having successful relationships is such an important factor in anyone’s happiness in life that your self esteem is indeed a key to your happiness and what you can achieve in every area of your life.

So a let’s take a look at 10 ways that you can achieve your self esteem goals:

Search for confident role models:

In order to strengthen your self-esteem, you should look for role models from your relatives, friends or acquaintances. There is always someone we secretly admire. Maybe because this person is confident or because they are good at expressing themselves verbally. And if this person is also successful at work, this can definitely be a role model for you. Even a colleague can be a role model if they have already achieved the goals you want in your job. Keep reminding yourself of this person and the attitude of that person.

An important benefit of confident role models is that when you face an important or difficult challenge you can ask yourself how would that person face this? What would he or she do? How would he or she behave in this situation? This can inspire you to become a better version of yourself, not by copying somebody else but by being inspired by them in the way that they deal with the situations that you feel threatening or difficult.

Use symbols to inspire you:

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Symbols can inspire you

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Hang symbolic pictures on the walls at home. It could be the photo of an athlete triumphantly holding the trophy in his hand. The symbol is supposed to symbolize power and strength. It could also be a picture painted by a classic painter – perhaps with a figure that exudes freedom, happiness, and complacency. Choose something that appeals to you. Every time you feel insecure, take a look at the picture and breathe in the power of the picture. Perhaps you have questions about your professional project: start communicating with the character. Answers will come, answers from your subconscious.

You can use symbols as a way of inspiring your imagination. This can be very very powerful because imagination can spark excitement and motivation to achieve new goals. Imagination is at the heart of every great idea that enables progress.

A healthy comparison is important:

If your self-esteem is poor, you often sell yourself below your market value. Make healthy comparisons. Check how colleagues act in the company or how they proceed if they want to achieve something professionally. Also when comparing your performance to that of a colleague, focus on the positive. Often you will find that your performance and your commitment are very good, all you need to do is sell it better.

Beware because comparisons can often be negative and these can damage your sense of security and confidence if you allow them to. When you are comparing your performance or your achievements, make sure you focus on success rather than failure. In other words, put more focus on improving the positive things you already do. You should not ignore the things that you do not do well at the moment, just be sure to make a note to improve on those weaknesses rather than beat yourself up about them.

Become aware of your market value. Be careful: be realistic. A healthy reality check is necessary. For example, if you are in an industry that is mediocrely paid, you will likely have to expect mediocre earnings first. Nothing is more devastating than showing excessive self-esteem and unreasonable confidence. In fact overly high self esteem is actually quite negative.

Dress appropriately for your surroundings:

Even if clothing is only something external, it helps to increase your self-esteem. In an environment where suits and ties dominate, you shouldn’t show up in jeans and sneakers every day. Optics are one of the characteristics of our society – you are often judged by what you are wearing. And we carry this judgment within us: a compliment increases our self-esteem, critical looks make us insecure. Now elsewhere on this website I have stated many times that you shouldn’t depend on others compliments or become restricted by what others expect of you. However in the corporate world you have to look the part and this will generally make it much easier for you to feel like you belong how to feel confident.

Happy

Being unique has its place and that’s where your self esteem creates your own unique character. However dressing suitably can definitely make everything much more easy for you as others will respond to you more positively. It is not for nothing that the saying goes: clothes make the man.

Find balance and thereby make yourself independent:

Find activities in your life that will increase your self-esteem and make you independent of other people’s judgments. Practice a sport that you enjoy and that you are talented at. Or cultivate a hobby that keeps you calm inside, gives you strength and thus makes you independent of your environment. This includes painting and drawing, but also practicing yoga or tai-chi. I recently took up astrophotography!

Becoming more independent is a wonderful self esteem goal. The fact that you feel independent can really boost yourself esteem because you know that when the going gets tough you can manage on your own. In fact one of the worst things that can bring on low self esteem is knowing that you’re over dependent on somebody else. So make it your goal to be more independent and rely on others less.

Negative experiences make you wise:

Draw courage and strength from your negative experiences. Think about the times when you weren’t really well off and fate was bad for you. How did you manage to make positive progress again back then? Which steps helped you to increase your self-confidence so that you could have positive experiences again?

One major self esteem goal must be to become much less negative. Life is full of negative experiences that can actually become the basis of important life lessons. It is only through coming through the difficult challenges that we face in life that we become better people. Your experience is one thing that makes you truly unique and it’s a gift given over time. So my message here is to use these negative experiences to your advantage and focus on the positive.

Change your perspective:

Communicate intensively with good friends, experienced people or your partner. Tell your friends or acquaintances about the situation in which, in your opinion, you did not appear self-confident. The opinion of another person gives you a different perspective on the situation. This can help you to see the value of looking at things from a different view. It doesn’t have to be another persons for you you can actually give a problem some time to sit in your subconscious and then come back to it in a couple of days time you have a totally new outlook and a fresh pair of eyes to look at the situation. This can sometimes bring a breakthrough.

Practice quick wit:

Often in everyday working life it is a matter of a quick exchange of arguments. The winner is the one who has the better argument or the more quick-witted answer. To get out of certain situations confident and strengthened, train your quick-wittedness.

Give yourself all the time in the world:

Often it is our environment that pushes us to achieve quick successes professionally. But long-term professional and personal goals can only be achieved with a healthy sense of self-worth. Slowly train your self-esteem, and gradually your supervisor, business partners and friends will perceive you differently. Step by step you will reach your self esteem goals.

Think positive:

Positive thinking has always been a good tool to manifest one’s goals. Because the thing that gets attention from you is nourished and grows. So it makes sense to align your thoughts positively so that your desired goals can be achieved. Positive thinking also increases your confidence in spirituality. Because we all come from the same cosmos. we are connected.

In fact, its worth mentioning that spirituality is something that can really bring you benefits. Life is so much more than we can understand and see in our own physical world hear. Open your mind to the possibilities which are truly endless. The connection between spirituality and self esteem is there any real one and well worth exploring. Good luck in your efforts to build your self esteem and pursue your goals today!

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Website Author and Editor Bio

Photo of Karl Perera, MA, DipLCKarl Perera is a fully qualified Life Coach (DipLC), Teacher (MA) and author of Self Esteem Secrets. He has taught at various universities including Durham, Leicester and Anglia Ruskin, Cambridge. He has run More-SelfEsteem.com since 1997 since suffering from low self esteem for more than 25 years overcoming it in his thirties.