Self consciousness is the No.1 enemy of self confidence. Firstly, lets define what self consciousness is and then go on to describe how it affects your performance in social situations and what you can do to help yourself with this knowledge. The result – better self confidence!
Do you know what self consciousness is?
When you are in a social situation and someone puts you on the spot, maybe they ask you an awkward or difficult question and suddenly you become aware of yourself, you focus on yourself and your reaction. You start to notice how nervous you feel. This is self consciousness – focusing on yourself. Your brain cannot come up with an answer and you look worried and nervous and your confidence drops.
Another example, you are asked suddenly to speak in front of a large group of people. Suddenly you feel eyes on you and you are aware of the rush of adrenaline and then you feel yourself sweating or shaking. You cannot think because you are focused on your own physical reaction. At the moment when you need to perform you are focused on yourself and you become even more nervous. This is self consciousness and it is preventing you from being confident.
How does self consciousness affect your confidence?
It destroys it totally is the answer because it increases your anxiety! When you are in a stressful social situation you need to relax to be confident and if you can’t you won’t feel in control and you won’t look relaxed. Your body language will tell others that you are not confident which will affect how they act towards you and this will make you feel even more unconfident. When you are relaxed you look and feel confident and in control and your mind is free to think about the challenge you face. Perhaps you are talking to an important person or a member of the opposite sex who you find attractive and all you want is to be yourself and act confidently. Self consciousness makes you nervous and stops you being natural, in short it affects you negatively.
Public speakers know that self consciousness is an enemy and they learn to overcome it. Everyone gets nervous about public speaking but beating self consciousness is one step to being a confident and successful public speaker.
In any social situation especially those you find most difficult you need to remove the focus away from yourself and what your body is doing to what you want to do – speak well and present yourself positively. In cases of extreme self consciousness you may focus on a physical feature and imagine, say, that your nose is too long or some such thing. You may feel ugly or awkward, but if you suffer from this then you may benefit from advice how to feel attractive.
How can you concentrate on your answers to questions or your response to someone if you are occupied with worrying and ever-increasing negative thoughts which only make you more self conscious and stressed? How can you be at your best when inside you are panicking and confused?
What can you do to stop being self conscious?
It’s easy to talk about what you need to do to help yourself but when you are in that stressful situation your body reacts in a split second and your mind and fears take over as you forget everything you planned to do. You have to face your fears and overcome them. The key is learning how best to prepare yourself for the event and how to relax.
If you can calm yourself and relax you will feel in control, this will boost your confidence. If you find yourself beginning to focus on yourself then deliberately try to focus on something else. Notice how the other person is talking or find something in the room to divert your attention from yourself and your feelings for a second then try to relax.
An excellent way to prepare yourself for these tough social challenges is to try to prepare yourself mentally by practicing events in your head in a relaxed state so that your mind and body will behave in a more positive way when you face the stress and fear of the situation. Self hypnosis is the best way to learn how you can train your mind to act differently. This can really help you!
Finally, the best advice I can give you is to download the “Stop being self conscious” hypnosis program now and start living your life!
If you would like to talk to someone about your self confidence problems then I can recommend counselling. Let them help you through your problem!