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For years I have had a problem with self esteem why can't I do overcome this and what should I do?

This is a common statement and one that rings bells personally. I think that self help demands sustained commitment and results take time. That's why so many people buy self help books and then lose interest when results don't happen quickly. I think there are many different elements to your problem:

 

1. Learn to be more assertive and not feel guilty about saying no

2. Give yourself at least equal priority as those you love

3. Examine why you feel bad about yourself and what you can do to change this

4. Examine your self talk and question your negative statements about yourself

5. Do something for others that will help you feel you are contributing to the world. Stop focusing on yourself too much and try to help others

6. Make time for yourself and treat yourself often

7. Don’t be afraid to ask others for what you want

8. Follow your dreams no matter what
   
   Yes you've tried some of these before I know but believe me you need a change in your attitude you need to overcome the brainwashing that has taken hold of you all your life this is not easy.
   
   There are many resources and pages on my website. Try the free self confidence course and do buy the Cd Trainer which goes with the course and supplements it beautifully. I have used it and it has helped me to have courage and confidence in many of the situations I feared before.
   
   Revisit the website and especially these pages:
   
   Self talk http://www.more-selfesteem.com/selftalk.htm
   Self hypnosis http://www.more-selfesteem.com/self_hypnosis.htm
   Self confidence tips http://www.more-selfesteem.com/self_confidence_tips.htm
   Assertiveness training http://www.more-selfesteem.com/assertiveness_training.htm
   
   Let me know how you get on with the course and please keep trying!