|
Welcome to the November issue of the self esteem newsletter!
Just back from a refreshing break in Istanbul with the family so
excuse me for the slight delay in writing this month's issue. I hope you
are keeping well.
I'm continuing the series of guest articles on stress because I feel
that stress has a big impact on our self esteem as well as other
physical and mental affects. The second in the series is about doing
something about it when it gets too much. Enjoy it.
Let me know what you think of this issue and how I can improve it,
your suggestions are always welcome!
Hope you enjoy this issue and do visit the website again soon,
Karl Perera www.more-selfesteem.com
Click here to
comment.
|
What's in this issue
- what's new
- quote of the month
- article - stress, when it gets too much
- Holiday Gift ideas form Amazon.com
- recommended books, downloads
|
Book of the Month
|
Everyone suffers from stress. Sometimes it's "good stress,"
which gives us the ability to perform certain functions like
studying for an important test, or making it to the doctor's
office on time. However, sometimes stress can just be too
much. How do you know when you've reached that point?
Let's just imagine that you have a project due in school in
the upcoming weeks. Here are a few ideas of how you might
feel: Choose the option that best applies to you.
a. You've been doing work on your project off and on, making
sure that you'll be done in time to turn it in, but also not
leaving anything until the last minute. You feel confident
in your work, though a little bit stressed about it turning
out the way you want it to.
b. You haven't even thought about your project, you'll get
it done at the last minute. However, you know when it
reaches that point; you are going to freak out over getting
it finished in time!
c. You can't stop thinking about this project. In fact, you
aren't sleeping very well, nothing seems to be working out
right whenever you try to put the project together, and you
just know you aren't going to get a good grade.
If you picked the first option, you are probably
experiencing a normal amount of stress. You are dealing
with the situation in a manner that provides you with time
to get your work done, and you aren't panicking over the
matter. You are doing what you can to get the project
finished without being too upset.
If you picked the second option, perhaps you should take a
look at how you get things done. Do you always
procrastinate? Perhaps by making yourself a schedule that
you stick to stringently, you can be sure to reduce the
stress of leaving things until the last minute. When you
find out you have a project that needs to be worked on, be
it for school, work, or home, be sure to start thinking
immediately how you can approach it. This means not pushing
it out of your mind until later, no matter how tempting that
is. Often people say "but I work well under pressure, it's
the reason I leave things for the last minute!" However,
doing that definitely increases the stress that you suffer
from later. Not only are you taking care of your work when
you approach things carefully, but as an added bonus, you
reduce the stress you feel! Not to mention, you'll probably
do a better job when you work on the project steadily than
just throwing things together at the last minute.
Did you pick the third option? If so, you need to take a
deep breath, sit down, and realize that this is not the end
of the world! Instead of panicking about what lies ahead,
take a moment, and realize that you can do this bit by bit,
and you can do it well! Do some research online; go to the
library and read books and magazines that deal with the
subject that you are working on. Often, if you are prepared
for what you have to do, you will find that it's easier to
do what is needed with less stress. Even if your project is
cleaning the house, a little bit of research can give you
some fantastic ideas on the best way to approach it, only
giving yourself a chance at an even bigger success! If you
automatically decide that you are going to fail at whatever
it is you attempt, then you are lessening your chance of
success. Give yourself positive self-talk, let yourself
know that you can do this. Don't put it off, but don't
panic, either. You will find that if you do this, you will
have an easier time getting projects done, and you won't
even need to stress out over it.
Here's another example for you to think about. Imagine that
a friend that you truly admire was going to come to visit,
but unfortunately had a situation that was going to prevent
him/her from arriving for this even that you have been
planning for quite awhile. How do you feel?
a. You feel disappointed, of course, but you understand.
He/She has a very busy life, and things just sometimes
happen! You guys will reschedule, and it will be even
better then, because there will be less stress in the way if
your friend's situation gets taken care of now!
b. You are angry. It's your friend's fault that you aren't
going to be spending time together, and what kind of friend
is this, anyway? It feels like the whole world is against
you having any fun whatsoever. You never want to talk to
this person or plan an event with them ever again.
c. You cry, and not just a little bit. You lock yourself in
your room and don't speak to anyone for days. It's just not
fair.
If you picked the first option, good for you! You are
taking a positive outlook on the situation, and realizing
that sometimes, life just happens. Every once in awhile
things do get in the way of having a good time, and
sometimes plans are temporarily put off to clear up a
situation that may be more pressing. You aren't angry at
your friend for having to attend to another issue before
having fun with you, and this will make you and your friend
both much happier when you are able to take time together!
If you picked the second option, you definitely need to sit
down and take a deep breath. It's unlikely that the world
is out to get you, and even though disappointments occur,
they are not a symbol of everything going wrong in your
life. If you truly feel that your friend is ditching you,
think things through very well before bringing it up, and do
not accuse them of wrong doing automatically. If you are
truly their friend, you will try to understand why they
can't visit, instead of instantly being angry with them and
possibly putting strains on the friendship. Remember that
disappointment is often a part of life. Depending on the
way you deal with the situation will help how you eventually
feel about it. That attitude is up to you.
If you picked the last option, ask yourself why you feel so
depressed about not seeing your friend. Is there something
in your life that you need to pay more attention to? Also,
if you react this way to a lot of things, talk to your
doctor or therapist, because you may be suffering from
depression. Give yourself some credit, and try to
understand where your friend is coming from. If perhaps you
need to spoil yourself a little, then go ahead and spoil
yourself! Some people use visits from friends or family to
kick back and enjoy themselves, but you don't have to wait
for the arrival of a friend or family member to have a
little bit of fun!
These reactions are just examples of how some people may
feel in some situations. It's normal to feel a bit stressed
about getting a project done, catching a flight, or over
disappointments that life sometimes dishes out. However,
becoming angry, depressed, or obsessive over these
situations can often cause more harm than good.
So what can you do? First off, if you think you have a
problem, don't hesitate to talk to your doctor or therapist.
A therapist can often teach you coping skills to assist you
in handling stressful situations. They can teach you the
right way to react, which gives you more of a benefit, and
makes you less likely to get as upset as you normally would.
You can also join a support group. There are support groups
for nearly everything you can think of! Contact your
therapist, or even your local hospital. Learning to manage
depression, stress, and anger is a fantastic step ahead to a
better and more fulfilled life!
Lastly, remember that taking care of yourself is the most
important thing to do. Eat healthy, drink lots of water,
exercise, and avoid junk food and sugar. Feeling healthy
goes a long way towards easing your stress. It's hard not
to feel stressed when you're sick! Don't be afraid to admit
you have a problem, and don't feel ashamed about going to
therapy or a support group. If you have a friend or family
member to confide in, than confide in them! Make sure that
you take time to make yourself happy, because even though
taking care of other people is a noble cause, you will never
be truly happy unless you take care of yourself. It's
important for everyone to try to make a good life for
themselves, including you! Learning how to do it is the
hardest part, but once you learn, you'll be happy that you
did!
____________________________________________________________
Louise Hathway provides effective solutions to reduce stress
in your life. Learn the 5 essential keys to [stress
reduction]. To receive your free 5-part mini-course visit
http://www.stress-reduction-4u.com/free-report.html
Want to increase your self confidence? Then check this recommended course
out now:
-
sign
up for a FREE
self confidence course which thousands (including me personally) have found
extremely useful. I would
also advise you consider getting the CD Trainer which is promoted
throughout the course, the CD is not expensive and is wonderful, I listen to
it regularly, it helps me, it'll help you too.
See
you next month! Oh, do check out the list of articles on
my website
Karl
Perera
|
