Newsletter 12 – April 2003

Article “Support and Self Esteem !” by Karl Perera

Support is something I’ve not dealt with until now, but after I received a few emails on this subject I decided to tackle this important point. You will probably have access to a support system, you should use it as it will make it that much more likely that you will succeed in your efforts at self improvement.

Why is Support Important?

  • Without support it is not easy to keep going and too easy to give in. Support provides encouragement which can make such a difference in improving your self esteem.
  • Feedback from friends can be helpful and inspiring
  • The feeling that others are with you and want you to succeed should never be underestimated!
  • Discussing changes you intend to make makes it more likely that you will carry them out. No-one wants to have to explain to a friend why they didn’t do what they said they would.

Who can you Turn to for Support?

If you have a serious problem you should seek professional support such as a councillor. Psychological problems such as depression are often better treated with the support of a qualified person. Many problems though are questions of motivation or change and this is where you can best use your own personal support system.

You should turn to friends, family, work colleagues and anyone who cares enough to listen to your troubles and genuinely wants to offer their help and advice. Always confide in positive people or those you respect and trust. You don’t want negativity, you want encouragement and support to help you move forward and succeed.

I need to say that the most important and helpful person whose support you must have is you! Be kind to yourself and not critical. Help yourself by relaxing a little and by allowing yourself time to enjoy life a little. Have patience, don’t push yourself too hard all the time.

Support also includes your faith in God. If you have strong faith use it because it is very powerful. Ask for help and pray for strength. You will receive it.

How to use your Support

Here’s a few tips how to use your support:

  • Ask for helpful new ideas from your friend or family member
  • Discuss what you have achieved – this will also make you believe more in what you are doing and will help to ensure you keep moving forward
  • Tell your friend or family member your next plan of action as a commitment to do it
  • Listen to any comments your friend or family member may make carefully – a second opinion may help to bring to your attention something you hadn’t thought about
  • Ask your friend to comment on any changes he/she has noticed, you may not be aware of these and hearing positive comments from another person will instantly raise your self esteem
  • Share your friend or family member’s experiences of a situation you find difficult or a challenge you need to overcome and discuss how he has faced it – use this experience to plan how you will overcome the situation
  • Discuss why you fear particular challenges or situations and ask your friend if your fears are justified, answers may give you confidence and convince you that your fears are unreasonable

I hope you will find this information helpful, use your support and don’t go it alone!

Until next month,

health and happiness,

Karl Perera

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