by Karl Perera
Running two websites about self esteem and depression I get many emails from visitors who ask me questions relating to happiness, self esteem and general life satisfaction. This article is my attempt to answer some of the most common problems that come up.
Are you satisfied with your life?
If you feel you have purpose in your life and what you do everyday gives you satisfaction then you are lucky. Do you feel something is missing from your life and your potential is unfulfilled? Chances are there are many things which cause you to feel less than satisfied with where you are now.
If you stop to think for a moment I bet you could list many things which make you feel less than satisfied with your life but this is a question of your attitude. Everyone could make such a list and the result would be a negative feeling and unhappiness. If you approach your life looking at it from what is missing or what could be better then you will be unhappy and dissatisfied.
What will give you life satisfaction?
Life satisfaction does not come from money nor material things. It comes from what you do and how you use what you have. It comes from a positive view of what is right in your life now. Of course, things can always be improved but you should try to enjoy your achievements so far. If you always look to solving problems you will never be satisfied until everything is how you want it to be and that will never happen.
Only you can truly answer the question “what will make you satisfied with your life?”. However, most people have basic needs which make them satisfied.
Some of these needs are:
- Successful relationships
- Family (provides a sense of identity and belonging)
- Feeling that you are needed and loved
- Purpose in life (a difficult one but so important)
- Having choices and options
- Having achievable goals
- Doing what you enjoy
- Having the possibility to express yourself creatively and emotionally
- Feeling that you have value (this is your self esteem)
- Being understood and accepted for who you are
How can you become more satisfied and content?
My list above shows that these things have no link to money, they depend on you and your attitudes and feelings about who and what you are. In order to be more satisfied with your life you need to:
- be focused on what you want
- learn to say no and be more assertive
- be less self critical
- end negative thoughts
- use self hypnosis to help you unleash the power of your mind. Take a look at this page about self hypnosis…
- concentrate on what you have now and what is good
- plan to take small steps to achieve what you want and reward yourself on each completed step
- the best advice I can give you is to download the “work life balance” hypnosis program
As always, these things are easier said than done. If you would like my personal help and guidance I offer Life Coaching.
Contact me for a Free Trial Life Coaching Session
Reacting to Difficulties and Problems
One thing I realised a long time ago was that when I faced times when my life was not as I wished I would fight. Let me explain. If you are not happy then you may, like I did, fight everything and refuse to accept the reality of your situation. For example, if you don’t like where you live you can complain constantly and learn to hate this. This will only make you angry and powerless. Your self esteem will be affected negatively because the more you complain and hate where you live the worse you will feel about yourself and your life. It is far more constructive to stop fighting against everything you don’t like because that uses so much of your energy negatively, creates unhappiness and low self esteem.
So what is the alternative to fighting? It is accepting the reality of your life as it is now and being prepared to take a step back in order to think about what you can and cannot change. Accepting everything is not what I am suggesting but there are some things you have to accept and others you don’t. Maybe your acceptance is temporary and you should change your attitude so that you can live your life now more happily until you can change things as you want.
Fighting is not positive. It is aggressive and brings with it anger and negative emotions. What you want is to become happier and more satisfied so you are looking for a positive change. Building a better life comes from being positive and taking steps to move closer to what you want. Accepting things as they are now is a first and important step. Accepting that it may take time to get where you want to go is another important thing to do. Accepting who you are is also very important.
Even if your life seems intollerable to you right now, instead of fighting it why not try to work with it and use what you have now? If you cannot change things imediately for the better, why not try to like what you have now? What I am trying to say here is that you CAN be happy and satisfied with your life right now. You shouldn’t put off your happiness until you get exactly what you want. If you do that you will never be happy. Live for the journey, not the destination!
Learn from your mistakes and problems and see them as opportunites to improve. Make peace with your life and with who you are, get clear about the changes you’d like to make and then work out how you will move forward. Make sure that you try to see the joy in every day and that even if everything is not perfect, there are always things to be happy about.
I hope that this short article has been helpful to you. I’d love you to share this page with others and comment below about anything that you have read above. Thank you for reading this far and good luck with your life!
next article – forgiveness