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More-selfesteem.com
presents yet another article which will help you improve your self esteem and
confidence. This on focuses on your attitude towards rejection. I hope you benefit from it.
In Search of Self-esteem
Author: Paul Peixoto
Have you been to a car showroom lately? If you have then you've probably
experienced sticker shock. It's that sudden reality check that often sends us
back to take another look at our checkbook balance. The shock that we're
experiencing is the realization of the difference between the price of the car
and its perceived value to us.
The price of an object is often linked to its value. But, although we talk a lot
about the price of things these days, we very rarely talk about their value.
Oscar Wilde said that a cynic is a person who knows "the price of everything,
but the value of nothing." He may have been speaking prophetically because
cynicism is a characteristic that marks our times. A casual glance at the world
news will tell you that the value of human life seems to be dwindling. Many
become victims of some senseless act of violence, or held hostage by some form
of totalitarian oppression. Human life seems to hold little value.
This isn't the way we want to live. Our children need to be taught that they are
worth something to us, and to this world.
Value is defined as that quality of a thing that makes it more or less desirable
or useful. But what quality do we have that makes us valuable?
Today schools try to teach the value and dignity of human life.
Self-esteem seminars are very popular; psychologists and counselors are happy to
help us with this shrinking opinion of ourselves. In this postmodern world we
have come to realize that if we don't build in some value, the market forces
will quickly reduce us to being merely a "consumer" or a "number." Popular
psychology would have us believe that we are just the sum of the chemical
components in our bodies. People are no longer responsible for their behavior
because, we say, they have a genetic predisposition for that behavior. If this
is true then I am nothing more than a machine programmed for a certain set of
behavior. And even if I don't think this way about myself, others choose to
treat me as such. Further, our self-destructive actions belie any assurance we
may hold that human beings have intrinsic value. The assumption that the
creation of the universe was a great cosmic accident plays well into the hands
of our diminishing self-image. How can I believe that I'm an accident and have
intrinsic value at the same time? Am I a "valuable accident?" Our humanistic
approach, while meaning to elevate us, has in fact diminished us.
The healthier approach is to begin with the understanding that there is a
designer to this universe and, regardless of how you envision that being or
force, he, she or it has created you for a purpose. Both the fact that you were
created, and created with a purpose, immediately speaks value. Your worth as a
person starts with the fact that you were purposely designed. No person, system,
ideology, or religion can take that away from you. Furthermore, the closer you
get to fulfilling that purpose the more your self-esteem grows.
The best way to build your self-esteem then is not to artificially try to prop
it up with some positive reinforcement, but rather to come at it from the
direction of purpose. When you find your unique purpose in life, you begin to
build your self-esteem. What you build will last with this approach because it's
in line with the original design.
About the author:
Paul Peixoto has created workshops designed to help you find your unique
purpose, passion and vision. As founder of The Serra Group, Inc., a member of
ASTD, and a certified NLP practitioner, he's accumulated 25 years of speaking
and coaching experience.
Whether working with corporate clients like Pfizer and Novartis, or leading
public seminars and webinars, his goal is to equip others to succeed. For a
schedule of programs visit http://www.paulpeixoto.com
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